I can't stand being alive anymore.

Everyone knows that no matter who someone is, and no matter how happy they are, there is always going to be negative things that happen to them. It's just a fact of life. It seems that for every positive/good thing that happens to me, there's 50 negatives. I don't think I can live like that.

Everytime I get excited about something it ends up not happening. You'd think that I wouldn't get excited about anything anymore but I always do. I always have hope and optimism. Then I end up getting disappointed 95% of the time.

The thought of living life just terrified me. I want out. Good times are not worth the suffering. I just hate living so much and it makes me panic and freak out because I don't know what to do. Not living at all is more appealing to me than facing hardships.