[Humor] A married couple confess to each other that they have both secretly had a passion, and talent, for murdering people. - 862 words. Its a story I wrote for a WP in /r/WritingPrompts.

It was Christmas eve. The table was laden with a scrumptious meal. Across the table a young married couple were sitting and having dinner.

"..and then I grabbed the last box. An old lady almost beat me to it. You'll love it honey" Gloria Jennings finished her story. Her smiled showed off her pearly white teeth and rosy lips.

'That's great sweety " Phil Jennings reached out to hold his wife's hand. Even that small action rippled his well developed muscles. An oddity for a Chartered Accountant.

Gloria started cutting through the souffle. "By the way honey. I called your office this afternoon but Jenny said you were out.."

"Oh don't worry about that. I was just out with Bill to get a drink" Phil gave his own version of a toothy smile to his wife.

Gloria's started to frown"No you were not."

"Honey?" Phil stopped smiling.

"Bill is in the hospital. Hernia. That's why I was calling" The smile was gone.

"I... " Phil had gone perfectly still. He could feel his heart beat speeding up.

"Where you were you honey" Gloria was squeezing the knife rather tightly now.

"I..uh" Drops of sweat were forming on his forehead. He shakingly wiped them off.

Gloria stood up. She was only 5 foot 3, but right now looked more dangerous than the Hulk.

"You're cheating on me aren't you" Her voice was a whisper. But somehow Phil could feel the rage boiling.

"God no Dear. I love you. I would never..." Phil started to rise up.

Gloria banged the knife in the middle of the table. It sunk in halfway.

"THEN WHERE WERE YOU?" Gloria screamed.

"I WAS MURDERING MY BOSS. OKAY!" Phil shouted out in return.

The couple stared a each other for a minute.

"Oh my god. You too?" Gloria said with surprise in her voice.

---

Phil felt rather uncomfortable. A minute ago he had confessed to his high school sweetheart that he was a murderer. What made it worse was apparently he wasn't the only killer in the house.

Color had come back to Gloria's face. She crossed her arms.

"Explain. What did you mean Sweetchumps" Her voice was dripping with honey.

Phil sighed and crossed his legs. He had pictured this conversation a thousand times but not this way.

" I am ...the ....Planner" He said while choking on each word.

"The infamous assassin who has murdered over half of the world leaders."

"Yes. I... caught early on that I had a talent for these things. So I sort started doing it on the side. Like a... hobby"

His wife hadn't blinked in a while.

"Okay I admit, its a little strange, but I .. couldn't help it. " A cocky smile appeared on his lips. "I am just so good at it honey. They call me the Moriarty of modern Times."

Gloria sat down. The frown was heavily pronounced. She was deep in thought.

"So when you say you were 'murdering your Boss'" she asked.

Phil face became twisted "The bastard wanted me to pull a double shift on Christmas and New year's Eve. Can you believe the nerve!" He took a deep breath.

"So I broke into his house and switcher out his anti-depressants. Then I simply embezzled a few millions from the company's accounts with his authorization." Phil smiled as he recalled his plan.

"They fired the idiot in the morning. Finally went off the edge. Shot himself with the gun I left in the top left drawer of his office table. It was so much fun, watching my plan execute" A look of extreme fervor had appeared on his face.

The look faded away as he stared at his wife.

"Hmm.. you aren't shocked" He started scratching his chin.

"Of course I am surprised" Gloria said indignantly.

"Yes surprised. Not shocked. Or disgusted. Hmm.." He continued calmly. He was looking at his wife from a new perspective.

"You're one too" He said ,though not accusingly

Gloria grabbed the knife stuck on the table. Blade first. With a thump she dislodged it. A drop of blood fell down on the wooden surface.

"I am the The Stripper" she said with arrogance.

Phil was nonplussed. "The what now?"

"I invite men to sleep with me and when they think they are about to have me, I strip their skin off their bones. While they are awake and screaming." The cheeks were turning rosy.

"When do you..."

"Remember those visits to my family" she asked.

"You mean when you left for thanksgiving 2 weeks ago.." Phil was more confused than surprised at his wife's modus operandi.

"I was murdering my bitch of a Boss. She thought she finally could get me in the sack with the threat of firing me. Stupid woman" Gloria was grinning like the joker.

"Do you have sex with them before you -"

"No of course not." She gently placed her bloodied hand on Phil's. "I could never cheat on you" She said with love in her eyes.

Silence ruled again. Neither of them wanted to break it. The moment was weird and romantic at the same time.

"So.." Phil started.

"Yes sweety?" his wife asked with a cute look.

"Whats our plan for new year's eve?" Phil asked.

Gloria smiled as Phil tightened his grip on her bloody fingers.

"Oh I think we can come up with something fun for both of us"