update to today

they were going to send me to a hospital, but no hospital would accept me. I am so fucked, that no inpatient hospital is willing to take me on. they are going to figure out what to do with me.

my job caught wind of what happened and put me on admin leave again and I can't return until after a fit for work examination. yay me.

my friend exploded on me today because of the suicide attempt last thursday.

and someone I love has basically said that she wouldn't date me and that I am outclassed.

you know what. life fucking sucks. I don't know why I am still alive. I guess I have to step up my game and end it properly like a real man.