My thoughts on the latest Nolan trailer...

So, I stood in line for 8 hours to see the latest Marvel film. It was great, but mostly I wanted to see the teaser trailer for the new Nolan film that came before it.

The whole audience went silent. The screen went dark. It was as if the Prophet himself had appeared - not as if, it was the Prophet himself: we were glimpsing greatness, awe. We heard only the organ trill of Hans Zimmer's score. From the mind of Christopher Nolan...

The word Christopher Nolan remained on black... but then the letters o and n became i and e.

'NO LIE'... Zimmer's score became more discordant. We in the audience began questioning to ourselves, rethinking our entire lives. The word DO dissolved in front. 'DO NOT LIE!' WHAT COULD IT MEAN?! The number 5 appeared... 5 DO NOT LIE... the number 1 in front of that... 15 DO NOT LIE... was this a numerical code? Was he doing some small-scale picture, like Aronnofsky's Pi? No Nolan! I don't want to see you reign [sic] it in, I want to see you go beigger! And then... the whole title appeared as, above Zimmer's score, a blast of kettle drums assaulted us.

H1P5 DO NOT LIE

Japanese people were chanting sh'AKIRA! sh'AKIRA! sh'AKIRA!

For those that were worried about Anne Hathway's performance... don't be. She has completely transformed her hips. This is not a matter of it being truly Colombian or whitewashing - this is an authentic, cinematic performance in one of the most brilliant bio(e)pics ever conceived. Of course, I've only seen 30 seconds, but I know without question that this film will be the best film based on a real person since Goodfellas.