I'd be in delivery this month

Back in February, I lost my second baby within one year. This month one of my friends is due, she's actually overdue at this point. I wanna block her because I just feel like it's getting shoved in my face that I should have my baby here right now while she's getting ready to deliver her. I didn't even know I was pregnant with mine until I lost them, I was only 19 and living with my ex and his parents so it was kinda terrifying. I know it was the best for me and baby because if they'd been born I don't think I would have been able to take care of them properly or give them to someone that could have given them a good life. With both miscarriages I told my babies to come back to me at some point later in life, when I'd be able to give them everything that they need. Even with all the rationalizing I give myself, I get so angry and hurt and like my friend I'm so jealous and angry.