</3 Frightened and alone.. </3 </3 I'm truly scared to death that I will end up all alone forever and EVER.. :/ A lot of people are drawn to me but I don't like them AT ALL back in a romantic way...

..I can't sleep.. It's the middle of the night but I can't even close my eyes... I am not exactly sad or depressed. But. I somewhat feel like an alien right now. I just wish I did not feel like an 'outcast'...

:p ;p A lot of gay guys hit on me.. A LOT of gay guys do. But. I sadly don't sexually or romantically like-like MOST boys. I tend to be more drawn in that way to girls. I am bisexual I guess but 99% of my attraction both romantic/sexual in that regard is for females.

Some straight gals hit on me but not a lot even. And. Anyways. Nothing works out for me with straight women ever really because I am not an man inside where it really counts in the end.

I am trans (transgender, MtF). Out of the closet but Non-op at this time. I look pretty androgynous most of the time. :p I look like Justin Bieber mixed with Austin Mahone but with big blue eyes and dirty blonde hair. :p ;p I don't feel "ugly" but I wish I looked more girl-ish......

Anyways.. When I am on apps and dating sites like OkCupid. I get pretty much only flirted/hit on by males. I got over 100+ messages on just OkCupid alone BUT about 89 of the messages were from gay/bi boys that thought I was cool/cute/interesting. Some bi women hit on me but not even close to the number of men that try to get my attention. I just list myself as a "Man" on most everywhere, because, I don't exactly 'look' like an girl on the outside. I have a penis, but, I know that I am a girl. My parents know about me, I just don't really tell much people that I am a girl. How would I explain that to everyone I met... ??

My situation looks sorta odd hahahahaha me reading it in words, I am noticing that my situation is kindaaa odd. Hahahahaa.

I feel flattered that soooooo much men seem to want to get to know me in a romantic way. But. I mostly just like girls that way. I have only had a few crushes on boys in my life so far. That is pretty rare though tbh.

I don't know. Any of you have any advice? No worries hahaha I am actually not depressed or even THAT upset. I just want to figure out a way to change what I think my life will be like if that makes any sense to any of you hahaha I don't want to be alone.

I think I am pretty awesome. I am also secure in who I am most of the time. I think a girl would like me maybe if they actually got to know me. How do I get MORE girls to notice me..?? I don't care if the girl is bi or lesbian or/and even trans like me. ;)

I want to find a nice date. With a nice accepting girl. How do I do that.

I just find it really weird that it seems mostly only boys like-like me.

I am 21. If that matters somehow.

Hmmmmmm. Any help anyone??! <33333

<33333333333333

Maybe I should start listing myself as a trans girl on websites..??? ;/ A lot of people would think I was just a fetish or sex toy though I think maybe..... I have been just listing myself as an "bi/pan male that tends to like girls more...." on all of my profiles pretty much.

Arrrrrrrrrg.

I don't know what to do.................... Wow.

<33333 <33 <3 ANYONE WITH ANY INSIGHT WHATSOEVER PLEASE SAY SOMETHING..THANK YOU IN ADVANCE BTW........