Don't go what I've just been through. My story of being a BB.

I’ve been out of a relationship for 4 months. We broke up and got back together too many times than I care to remember. It’s absolutely broken me as a person and led me to the red pill. I wrote the whole story of the relationship but it is way too long, I’m happy to post it if anyone is interested, but perhaps it’s better to just stick to short and simple.

I’m 34 and she’s 41. Together 1.5 years. Before I met her I lived alone, travelled often and was spinning plates in my old apartment like crazy. I was very social, worked out, drank and picked up most weekends. Then my life took a drastic turn when I met her. I was at a point wondering if I’d ever meet someone to settle down with. She identified this and used it to her advantage and before I realized her flaws I was in too deep and became a BB.

Let’s start with her red flags:

1. Single mother to 3 children aged 10, 19 & 21. Two different fathers involved here who were not involved in the upbringing of the children. Never married.

2. Unemployed and living off welfare.

3. Lived in a commission home in a bad area.

4. Messy house. Dishes piled up in the sink, clothes in knee high piles, cat hair over everything, rubbish bins overflowing, a room full to the ceiling of junk.

5. Three cats

6. Low self esteem, insecure and unconfident

7. Struggles to communicate face to face and prefers text based conversations to express herself

8. A history of poor life decision-making. Both fathers of the children were deadbeats. One is in a motorcycle club, does drugs and lives in a trailer park. The other has schizophrenia and is an alcoholic. All other men from her past were apparently “abusive” or just “arseholes.” Never heard a good word about any of them. Sounds like she’s been riding the CC with alphas for a long time.

9. Didn’t finish high school and has made no attempt at any kind of career.

10. No close friends

11. Daddy issues from her upbringing and several strained family relationships involving intervention orders against one brother.

12. Hooked to her phone. Uses Facebook for narcissistic means. Posts passive aggressive quotes/memes directed at whoever.

13. All 3 children were living proof of her shitty life choices. 1 had severe anxiety, the other had generalized depression, the youngest had abandonment issues, learning disabilities and attention problems due to a lifetime of minimal effort mothering and no structure/routine in her life. She would often cry, throw tantrums and act up for attention or purposely ruin special days/nights. Only the youngest child lived with her.

14. Mental illness. My ex had severe depression spanning over several years, unresolved ex issues, trauma related to an accident. By the time I met her, she said she’d been on antidepressants for 3 years and had made no further effort to seek help. There was so much pent up contempt for her family, her exes, the fathers of the children, her own situation. 20 years of rage. The world had done her wrong, she’d believe.

15. Went off the pill for a month only for me to realize the packet was unopened. “I just thought a baby would be good for you, us and my daughter”

16. Pressure to move into my house with her daughter and a refusal to realistically make it happen by a) getting a job b) getting her daughter under control c) getting serious help with her depression

17. Lazy lifestyle. Would wake up and get the kid to school then return to bed until the afternoon, walk around the shops then pick up said child from school. Meanwhile, I’m working my ass off.

Basically, in the early days of the relationship she managed to hide many of these flags and she was very sweet and caring towards me. As time progressed, her depression surfaced and I was left to deal with her hot/cold behavior which left me confused and anxious. When she was cold, she wouldn’t communicate at all, avoided all affection, would act odd, say hurtful things to others, avoid any interaction with anyone, would sit alone outside for hours smoking cigarettes and mindlessly scrolling facebook and playing stupid games.

When confronted about her behavior, she’d blame it on her depression. Would offer no apology, would not take blame and not listen to how it’s affecting other people. Everyone else was the problem, not her.

Basically, she turned me into a beta bitch. As the relationship went on, her expectations of me rose. I was to be more involved with the child, assist with school drop offs/pick ups, entertain the child, take on a fatherly role, the kid was even calling me dad! I was also expected to be emotionally supportive of my ex through all her issues, be understanding and show affection, devotion and commitment. All of which I did, because I was dreaming of a time when things would be better with her.

All she wanted was someone to take care of her. Her words. She wanted the BB. The provider, the white knight, the person to walk in an pull her out of her world of shit. I played that role. It ruined me because whilst I did care for her and love her, she wouldn’t lift a finger to meet me halfway on anything.

Guess what? After 1.5 years… nothing got better. On any given day either her depression would spiral down and she’d be a mess for a few days, or her daughter would start acting up in school/home (the daughters behavior got worse and worse) or the baby daddy would start some shit and a two day text war would ensue, financial problems would be a burden or her own insecurities would escalate and start an unnecessary problem between us.

I just continually kept bending over backwards for her to help her. It took it’s toll. I became anxious, frustrated and felt like everything I was doing for her was being taken for granted and I was getting very little in return. One night, she text a goodbye message at 11pm threatening suicide. That was it. I lost it. I drove to her home, asked her to get in the car and I’d take her to the hospital. She refused. What more could I possibly do? I’d been living in this state of walking on eggshells for over a year with her and she’s refusing help.

I broke up with her. Fucked off on 2 holidays. Banged about 9 other women and tying to just get my life together. She hounded me for a month to come back and when I did she denied me, citing “I don’t know” to any question I had and requested time to “think”… 4 months later we are still playing this game. I live in a small town so we still run into each other. Yesterday, she tells me she’s dating someone else. It’s been a week. It’s a long distance Facebook relationship and she hasn’t caught up with him yet. Weird. Why would someone so needy and insecure settle for someone who’s not there?

I look into it on facebook. I know the guy. He is from our town and moved 2 states away a month ago. He is a straight up Alpha. I wouldn’t call him attractive. Rough looking bogan type. Doesn’t appear to be rich or intelligent, posts in text speak, swears, was proudly wearing a t-shirt in one photo that said “Liquor: she’ll love it.” I realize quickly he’s got plates everywhere on there. He’s openly flirty with most girls and I got the impression he just moves from one plate to the next. She’s clearly next on the chopping block.

It makes no sense. Why would he leave a small town to live in a city on the coast surrounded by hot girls only to get involved in a long distance relationship with someone from the town he just left and hasn’t met? I’ll tell you why… because he wants to make sure that nobody else fucks her until he does. Pump and dump. I guarantee it.

What’s not surprising is the AF/BB situation that has played out here and so often talked about on TRP. She self confessed that she wants someone to take care of her, she had it! She had the good guy, the intelligent, educated, well-travelled and handsome guy with a stable job, decent pay, house and car. Who was willing to hold her hand and help her through her troubles. She molded a former (unknowing) red-piller to be what she wanted, betafied. Only to give nothing in return then discard him when he his own expectations were not met.

Given her relationship history, all alphas and in her opinion scumbags, arseholes, crazy or abusive… I don’t think she knows how to have a normal relationship. Sure, the beta is what she needs… but AF always wins, even if it’s fleeting. And that’s why she’s attracted to this new long distance guy. He’s just like another version of the fathers of her children. She hasn’t learnt. He fills her narcissistic supply on facebook with likes and comments, probably texts all day too, because he’s not physically present she doesn’t have to justify her lifestyle of sleeping all day and doing nothing. It’s low pressure. But I’m sure he’ll pump and dump her, next.

So what do I do? I’ve been miserable the last couple of months. Last night I blocked her on all social media platforms. Full no contact now. Started exercise again and seeing this relationship for what is was worth. I’m swallowing the red pill. Don’t ignore the red flags guys, don’t ever be where I’ve just come from.

Never again.

Feel free to scorn me, ask me anything, abuse me, criticize me, her, the situation, make predictions, teach me something. I need this. Any advice is welcome on my red pill journey.