My narc mum and HER obsession with my birthdays...

I liked my birthdays when i was little, we invited many kids and had awesom parties, not knowing it was all a show off. As a teenager, i started to dislike hem, and wanted to forget them. As an adult i had enough of them. So i wanted to stop having them, she did not let me. My Nmum and Ndad wanted each year celebrating my birthday at my place, they were actually giant inspections of me and boyfriend and the house we lived in.

We were cleaning everything 3 days ahead and at the birthday we were actually to exhausted to celebrate. My Nparents arrive, nothing was good enough, corners of mouth down, i barely invited friends, cause i was always embarrased by my parents.

When i stopped having these inspection birthdays, she did this, bought a big cake and all, gifts and invited me over to her place, i thought this was stupid but cause she was having bad kidneys, i let her, she never used that card.

But I thought it was weird she could never let my birthdays go, they are mine not hers......

anybody else had stuff like this happening?