Advice for two new college students (18/m) (18/f)
First of all, some backstory: My girlfriend and i have known each other for about 6 years, and we were purely just friends up until around a year ago. It was our senior year in high school, and we just suddenly realized that we wanted to be with each other. (Therefore we are both 18 at the moment.) We are both very good at looking at both sides of situations, and seeing what is best based on that knowledge, which is partially why i think we have such a great bond. We don't keep any secrets, we are very honest with each other about everything, its just a very good and healthy relationship. However, as the end of senior year came around, college started becoming a huge concern. I decided to stay local, she decided to go to a college about 4 hours away. Clearly this is where the problem resides. It is just a shitty situation because we both agree that we have a wonderful relationship and friendship, but it is just hard to be so far away, and want to be with each other (Physically and emotionally).
A little more info: She was always an honors student (top 5 in a class of 400), and still is, and is taking around 21 credit hours 1st semester. I am not at all an honors student, and am taking only 16 credits. This means that she is super busy all the time, and finds me to be a little distracting towards her schoolwork, and also that I have a lot of free time. That means that it is hard for both of us, because communication is still very high (Snapchat/Text/Phone/Skype), but there is not always a lot of time for it. I have a car, and family here, so i could absolutely make the drive any weekend. For me, it seems like the obvious solution is to stay together, and that we will work through any hardships like adults as we have before.
Now, here's the kicker: (Mind you that our feelings are still the same for each other, and the situation has not really changed since i found out about this) Over the summer she went on a leadership trip out of the country run by her school. During the trip she made a lot of new friends who are starting to become very good friends while at school. (Perhaps you see where this is going) One specific friend, she is having emotional problems with. She still feels the same about me, so she doesn't know how to handle the feelings she has towards this new friend. She doesn't want to date him, but the feelings just worry her, and she doesn't want anything bad to happen between us. I trust her more than i trust anyone, so i know that she isn't keeping anything from me, but obviously it worries me too. In her mind, there are two options; 1: Stay the way we are and be happy that way, or 2: Stop being together to better focus on school. Option 2 is not just a ploy to be with this other guy, but we both know that if that were to happen, nobody knows what will happen between them.
So that's basically the situation. Sorry if it was long, but i try to be as detailed as possible. Please please please feel free to ask any questions, i would love to have some conversations about it. Thanks so much in advance!
tl;dr 18 year old couple going off to colleges 4 hours away from each other. We have a wonderful relationship, and we have super strong feelings for each other. However college is hard, and we don't know if we have the time. Also there is another guy involved at her school, but i'm not super worried about that part.
Posted Sep 16, 2015, 7:25 AM UTC