Me [30 M] with my GF [29 F] together for 8,5 years, LDR for 1.5years. I thought we'd get married, now she wants to break up

Breakups

My GF and I met in Japan when I was studying at university there and have been together ever since. She followed me back to Europe when I finished university but had a difficult time finding a job and ended up going back again about a year and a half ago. Now she's in a city where she hardly knows anyone, works 10-14hrs/day, and according to what she said to me all she wants is to get away.

I've been finishing up my M.Sc here in Europe with the intention of going back and reunite but lately I noticed that her messages never had the heart emoji or the "I love you" in them anymore. I confronted her about it and she kept tipping around the answer.

After I'd said that I love her and she have to be honest she told me that her feelings had been confused throughout the last year but (without trying to communicate) she had decided that I was her best friend and that she doesn't feel any sexual desire anymore and that she wants time but stay friends.

I'm still madly in love with her and have been devastated because of this. I suggested that we should take a pause for a couple of months and she said yes. However, I think that might just be her running away, hoping that she won't have to feel responsible if I am able to overcome the pain and hurt I feel in those six months while I'm hoping no contact will make her remember the love we had. I'm scared that it will stop me from moving on.

I'm not sure if I could bear staying friends with her but we've been incredibly close for this whole time and have never had a fight. I can't believe I might have to cut her out of my life completely. How should I proceed?

tl;dr: GF of 8yrs in LDR feels like all romantic feelings are gone but wants to stay friends. We've agreed on a 6month pause but I'm afraid it's a way for me to keep up hope and for her to run away from feelings of guilt.

Posted Sep 16, 2015, 7:30 AM UTC · edited

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