Scared of the doctor

So, if anyone out there can understand and be kind, it's you Ladies.

I have avoided going to the doctor for awhile now. I have a not-so-good relationship with them in the past. Nothing awful, but enough to make me not want to go. The biggest issue being that I'm over weight.

I'm not dumb. I know I should lose weight. But that doesn't mean it's a switch that I can just flip on. My mother died in March, and I've been fairly depressed with all of that. The reality is, there's no way I'm just going to be able to suddenly drop 100 pounds right now.

But, I've been having some serious issues. My hair is falling out, alot. I've been super tired. Like, I will just fall asleep in the afternoon for no reason. Now, I've been having pain in my right hand and shoulder, and weakness in that hand. Combine that with just generally feeling achy and worn out.

My mom had pretty bad hypothyroidism, and all of my symptoms point towards this. But I'm terrified that the doctor will just dismiss my every complaint and blame it on my weight. And if that's what they're going to do, I'd rather save myself the shame and depression and not go. I just honestly don't think I can stand a round of fat shaming with all the stress going on in my life.