I don't think this will help but..

Edit: Just thought id give an update, just got out of ER for a visit for symptoms i mentioned earlier. Turns out i have mono and am experiencing extreme symptoms from that which is why im struggling breathing. Thanks to those who replied I'll try to respond after I rest so i can respond to you properly. While this doesn't necessarily completely change my mind it is comforting to have at least one thing being explained with a result in sight.

I'm 25 years old, for the past 3ish years ive had mild depression, most of which i chalked up to not being the most social person and being transgender. However last year I tried to kill myself and was hospitalized for a week. What pushed me there was being bedridden from a medical problem after a surgery which later resolved after months but at the time that with the other stuff was enough.

That brings me to today. In the span of a couple months my hair has started falling out from some sort of dermatitus issue on my scalp, i had finally grown it out after 2 years and now its falling out and none of the medications my derm put me on are stopping it. My entire scalp is burning and im watching my hair fall out which as a trans person is just about the most mortifying thing i can imagine.

If that wasn't bad enough, last week i went to the E.R cause i randomly couldnt swallow, trouble breathing throat pain. Chalked it up to acid reflux and told me to take some meds. Here we are 5ish days later, im throwing up over the toilet something probably blood came out along with a bunch of yellow shit. I cant breathe normally my throat hurts my hair is literally falling out in the toilet while i vomit and i cant think of any possible reason not to jump off a bridge. I'm so tired of all these medical problems shuffling me to doctor after doctor no one fixing it when it shouldn't even be but minor issues. Combining that with ym depression, lonliness and myriad of other issues im just so worn out. I'm tired of physically feeling like im dying, watching my body fall apart worse and worse in addition to a giant list of things that would already be enough reason to kill myself.

Not gonna bother proofreading or typo checking.