Weddit, HELP! Wedding in 2 weeks, but I'm so stressed about family drama I'm ready to give up.

Hi weddit,

You all have been invaluable help, and I'm looking for some support/advice. I have no doubts about my FH, to be clear. He's amazing and wonderful, I am so lucky to have found him. The problem, of course, is family.

Background: FH and I are both from the East Coast, but I've been in Asia for a year, and FH accepted a job offer in Seattle around the same time. I just got back to the states a month ago. I'm now living in the Seattle area with FH. The wedding is back east, and in 2 weeks.

The problem: My mother is a minister. She offered to officiate for us. FH and I discussed it and decided to accept. I haven't had the easiest relationship with her, and she has made some hurtful accusations about my personal life in the past. But I liked the idea of involving her in the wedding as a way of hopefully bringing us closer, etc. I emailed her to let her know.

She wrote back a LONG response about how she was not comfortable officiating as long as we persisted in living together before marriage, because it's sinful and not what God intended. Unless we "took steps" to fix this, she was rescinding her offer.

FH and I will be cohabitating for a grand total of six weeks before the wedding, just to be clear. She made no mention of any stipulations before. Like I said, she OFFERED to officiate, and her most recent offer came while I was already back in Seattle.

She said a lot of other stuff too, all of it painful to read, and touched on our plans to write our own vows, which she was "sure would be heartfelt and beautiful" while also questioning our religious intentions, etc. It felt like a smack in the face.

I responded a week later, but we didn't resolve anything beyond the fact that she stood by her actions and wouldn't be officiating, but will still be attending the wedding.

FH's dad will officiate instead, so that part isn't a problem. But Weddit, the wedding is two weeks out, and there is SO MUCH STUFF I still have to finish. And I just feel... broken. I'm staring at my to-do list and it's all I can do to keep from sobbing. I've lost every last drop of my excitement. I'm dreading my own wedding. I'm not sure if or to what extent my relationship with my mom is reparable. She said some extremely harsh things, and in her mind everything that she said is totally justifiable.

At the end of the day, I'm still getting married to the man I love and I'm incredibly grateful for that. But my mother will be sitting in the audience judging everything about the ceremony, our vows, our choices.

How do I deal with this? I know some of you have strained family relationships. How do you handle knowing that the people who should be the most loving and supportive... aren't? How do I keep the focus on happy things? How do I pose for pictures with her and act like a happy family when it's so far from what I'm feeling right now? HELP!

Tl;dr: Mother offered to officiate wedding, then retracted offer due to FH and me cohabitating for 6 weeks before wedding.

EDIT: Just wanted to say thanks, you guys. Had to take a break from the internet yesterday, but I read through your comments today and they made me tear up (in a good way). Thanks for your support. You all rock.