He Knows Only Rain

It feels as if he knew sun once

But was too young to remember

Messy drops smash fatly on his back

Each step pulls a puddle into his shoes

Pure will drags his soggy flesh forward

Out of nowhere a clearing appears

Stepping in, sunlight softens his burden

Turning his head it hits him

There is no escape from the storm

Each direction is more treacherous than the last

Lifting his chin, he feels sun for the first time in his eternity

Then dies.

---

A few of the lines feel clunky, and some of the word choice is weak. If you have any recommendation to clean it up a bit that would be very helpful.

1 2

Edit: Line 9 Changed 'this' to 'there'. Thanks u/supercreep3

Edit: Line 10&11 Changed up the wording a bit. Thanks u/laughterful

Edit: Added line 5, feedback on that line specifically would be nice.