LONG time Crohn's Sufferer getting kicked in the colon by cancer ... caused by the treatments that have failed to help the Crohn's

Greetings,

Excuse the length of this post, but I need to vent and a text box on Reddit seems the best place at 5:43am on a Sunday morning.

QUICK background: Crohn's Since 1998. Been on EVERY medication for Crohn's available in the US; and many of them in experimental ways after their default dosing has not given me remission. I have not been in remission since 2007 and my case is classified by my Doctor and three specialists at three different "Crohns Treatment Centers" as "Severe and unmanageable".

About three months ago I started to have some pain in my back. As an office monkey I assumed this pain was due to endless hours staring at Excel while sitting on a crappy chair purchased in a rush at Staples when my last chair decided three legs connected should be "good enough". Working from home I have no HR department I can demand a chair or ergonomic assistance; so I took matters into my own hands. I re-adjusted my desk to make it more ergonomic, I purchased a lumbar support for my chair and I made it habit to no longer sit at my desk for the entire day without standing up. This should make me feel better in no time I thought.

Slowly time went on and the pain got worse. Finally I resigned myself to ask that my holiday gift be a new chair. Oh the excitement I'll have on Christmas morning I thought. But the pain kept getting worse. And worse. And finally on Wednesday the 4th it got so bad I couldn't sit at my desk. I couldn't even lay down comfortably.

Amazingly through the weekend it got worse. How the hell could it get worse? I also realized that since Thursday I had not had a bowel movement. "Lightbulb!" said in the voice of Gru from Despicable Me. I was convinced it was another bowel blockage, this one so bad or in such a location that it was somehow hurting my back. That's what it had to be, right? So I call my doctor first thing on a Monday morning and ask him to meet me at the hospital.

"Woah woah Dave, let's first have you go to our imaging center and get a CT Scan. If it's a bowel blockage we'll admit you, if it's something else we'll treat you. But there is no reason for you to spend the day in an ER waiting for them to run tests I can order immediately." responded my doctor. DAMN HIM and his logic. Unable to drive myself my wife takes me to said CT scan.

The test is done and the lab tech tells me that my doctor wishes for me to stay there until the radiologist can review the results and then they'll route me either to the hospital or my doctors office.

Twenty minutes later I am asked to pick up the phone and my doctor advises me that the radiologist did not find a bowel blockage. Instead he found a massive tumor in my pelvic region pushing against my colon, back, and prostrate. He said I should come into his office first thing in the morning so he can use what is left of the day to get my Oncologist and GP up to date and copies of the reports.

Tuesday I see my Gastro who sadly tells me he is quite sure it's either Infectious Disease or Lymphoma. He also informs me that not only do I have the tumor but that there is obvious signs of involvement in my lungs and bones. He tells me he has gotten me in with my Oncologist later that day and an ID doctor, should I need them, the following day.

He informes me, which is then seconded by the Oncologist, that either of these issues most likely were caused by my years of Crohn's Treatments. Those same treatments that never gave me remission.

The Oncologist is 99% sure it's Lymphoma based on the lungs, bones, and tumor size. Also based on the fact that a CT scan from 11 months prior showed nothing (and was compared to this test) and ran some blood tests, ordered a PT/CT Scan and a biopsy.

The PT/CT Scan lit up like a christmas tree again indicating Lymphoma. My biopsy is scheduled for Monday and I am a fucking mess. I've not been able to sleep since this pain started on the 4th. I am getting blocks of 30 minutes here or there randomly throughout the day. I am of course not working and I am also unable to be a husband to my wife or a father to my kids. All things already hard to do with Crohns Disease.

I just don't know how I can continue to hold on like this until cancer treatment starts to work. I don't know how I can fight a case of Crohn's Disease so severe that I have not been in remission since 2007. I feel like I have reached my limits, been pushed passed them, and am circling back. I'm just lost.

tl;dr Severe Crohn's Disease sufferer diagnosed with Lymphoma caused by the medications taken for Crohn's. Scared shitless.