I lied and she found out. What next?

I absolutely adore my girlfriend of two years. She's everything to me, the absolute best match I could hope for. We've had our ups and downs, and we took a break for a month about 6 months ago. We got back together and I made it my #1 goal to listen and work on our problems. I've been unflinchingly loyal to her and she knows this.

There's been a bump in the road recently and I'm not sure how to recover. Before we met I was in a very confusing and dysfunctional relationship. I broke up with her and a week or so later, feeling confused and lonely I reached out to her again on gchat professing my love and remorse. It didn't work and I moved on to meet my current girlfriend who I fell madly in love with. I have been absolutely honest and up-front with my girlfriend on every aspect except for one thing. When asked whether or not I was in love with my ex I would say no. I felt as though admitting such would scare her away, after all not much time had passed between my breakup.

It was a white lie in my opinion, what difference would it make that I told my ex I loved her if I was whole heartedly committed to my current girlfriend? Two days ago my girlfriend stumbled upon my gchat log while using the computer I lent her. She read back through pages of messages and saw everything I said to my ex during our breakup.

I was confronted with this information yesterday, she's clearly upset. First, that I lied about the depth of my previous relationship, and secondly, that certain things I told my ex during the breakup were similar to things I had told her. She now believes that I'm insincere in my statements, that I have pre-prepared responses I use for manipulation.

This incident has clearly opened a wound in which every past transgression we've ever had has come pouring to the surface. It's very overwhelming because I know in my heart that everything I've told her has been sincere. I've meant every word and yet she tells me it means nothing anymore. I may not be original but I've always been genuine, I just don't know how to do this.

She hasn't officially ended the relationship but I feel it's coming. Dialog is still open I just don't know what to do. I need some advice, please help.

I read this story back to myself and it was confusing so here's the timeline.

Broke up with ex> chat logs between ex> Months pass> Meet GF> Happy> short break> Happy again > GF finds chat logs from two years ago.

I never attempted to get back with my ex or any other girl while we were dating.

Thank you

Posted Dec 2, 2015, 10:39 PM UTC · edited

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