I may be a little more broken than I allowed myself to believe.

It seems like the more time I spend talking, reading, or thinking about my situation the more I realize that I've been convincing myself my issues weren't that bad when often times they were or worse. Now that I socialize with people my age regularly I often notice how toxic my family dynamic has been. I thought my anxiety disorder was just me being "shy" or nervous about something like a test. I bought into my Nfather's day of thinking that he could do whatever he wanted so long as I "owed" him for his financial support of my daily needs. I took on all of the household chores due to the guilt I felt being in his debt and still let him belittle me and my contributions to the house multiple times a day. My best friend has two Nparents who have treated him with utter contempt since his mother married a physically violent man so I always thought to myself "well if he has it worse then I shouldn't complain" but that was wrong. It's been getting to me as of late how little I understood my own life/condition.