Update on chicago trip

So I emailed Ndad say that me and my roommate chose not to go. I made up some lie about a friend coming into to my house to see me and that the rest of the break me and my roommate had other plans. Litteraly a moment after this he is calling me and texting me to demand me to call him. I'm ignoring them but it doesn't stop me from being an emotinal wreck. i know he is mad. I know he'll try to maniuplate and guilt me. I know he'll say the wrong name and pronouns. I don't want to be near. I want to be here with my chosen family. Why did i even think about even spendign time in chicago? WhY? i really upset now and i feel bad that its only over one text and call. I really need some support now.