[22F] I lied to my boyfriend [23M] about my number of sexual partners, we have been dating for 3 months. Should I tell him the truth?
Throwaway because I don't this on my main account.
I've been dating by bf for 3 months and it has been the best relationship of my life. He makes me so happy and he has treated me like a princess from day 1. I love him, I'm completely sure of it. He's far less sexually experienced than me, and only had 2 partners before me, and they were both committed relationship partners. I've always had a high libido and free attitude towards sex, so I've been around the block (threesomes, casual hookups, etc). The amount of PIV partners I've had is around 25 but considering all sexual activity it's 40+. I'm not ashamed of my past and I don't regret anything I've done. I'm happy for the experiences and being able to fully explore my sexuality.
Unfortunately I ended up lying to my boyfriend about my number. He wanted to be exclusive very early and we got into a conversation about our histories. He admitted his and stupidly I lied to him about mine, saying I only had 7 partners. Even 7 seemed to be too high for him since he seemed to get tense and uncomfortable but he never judged me or slutshamed me. He said the past is the past and he's only focused on making me happy in the present.
I lied to him because I knew without a doubt he would not have continued to see me if he knew the truth. One of my friends introduced me to him and she let me know that he's not into the hookup scene and is looking for a committed relationship. So am I and although it's selfish, I had to lie. I felt such an amazing connection to him that I firmly believe he's the one, and these last 3 months have been pure bliss. If I told him the truth I'm certain he would've called it quits right there.
But because I lied I now feel incredibly guilty every time I see him. I believe that someone's sexual past doesn't matter in a new relationship but I feel bad that I lied to him about something that's important to him. He admitted that he's a bit uncomfortable that I already had 7 partners before him but then told me he was glad I was honest with him and that he loves how we don't keep secrets. That makes me feel even worse since he's assuming 7 is the truth and is grateful for me feeding him a lie. I want to tell him the truth so he doesn't keep believing a lie but I'm reluctant to tell the truth at the same time because I think he might break up with me over this and that's the last thing I want. He's such a sweet guy and I've never felt so happy with someone before.
tl;dr: Lied to boyfriend about my number. Should I tell him the truth?
Posted Dec 2, 2015, 11:24 PM UTC