Friends spouse knows what happened.

My PTSD is related to getting the shit kicked out of me and molestation as an 11-12 year old. My best friend's is related to combat.

In a moment of weakness several years ago I told him what happened. (He knew of my diagnosis, not the cause.) Because he's awesome he didn't treat me any differently and we continued to lean on each other when we needed to and just joked around and played video games with some herb like normal friends otherwise. I'm lucky to have him around.

I've been having a hard time with my emotions and memories recently and it came to a head a few days ago when I was ready to off myself. Steve (fake name) and I have a pact to call each other if we're ever like that. He calmed me down, I tried to sleep.

A couple days later he tells me his wife (another sufferer of combat-related ptsd) knows what happened to me. As Steve and I had made a fucking oath not to talk about either one's demons with anyone else I'm a little stunned. He goes on to say that much like a vet can pick a vet out of a crowd, she figured me out because she's also been there.

I know he's trying to help. We have a similar condition with wildly different backgrounds. His wife is a rad lady, and he can't help as much as he wishes he could. I still feel betrayed. He would have had to confirm her suspicions at the very least. Or, he just told her. (I mean they are married and all.) Also, and I hope this doesn't actually offend anybody, I'm a dude. Without lessening her experiences whatsoever, it's different. I don't know how else to put it.

I'm never not going to be friends with him but now just the thought of being near his wife makes me uncomfortable. If I had kept my mouth fucking shut this wouldn't have happened. Now somebody else is worried about me.

God. Damn. It.