I'm disgusted with myself; what have I become? Who am I? Does life have any meaning?

I am a broken man. I don't understand what I did to the gods to deserve this. I'm not a bad From game player. I platinumed DS1&2. I've done SL1 runs in Dark Souls and a BL4 run in Bloodborne. I never summon. People had trouble with Gerhman and I beat him in NG and NG+ first try. I always stop leveling at soft caps. I got my Bloodborne plat nice and early; none of the main game bosses bothered me except for Ebrietas (my first time fighting it) and that took maybe 20 tries. Even the tough chalice bosses I got through.

But, I, I...Ludwig... I don't understand. I'm on NG++ and for the fucking life of me something about Ludwig doesn't make sense. I can't do it. I've tried this boss with my main character more than I've tried any other boss in any From game. I've done it hundreds of times. I've gotten it to phase 2 literally one time and cost 24, that's right, 24 vials. I watch videos and see people do it and I can't. Who am I? What does life mean? Do I need to walk off to the mountaintop and heard some sheep? What is life?

I get that it's not the worst boss in the DLC. I get that for most people it's like mid-tier. But my brain..it...it won't allow me. I'm..I think I might cry.

edit: reddit please tell what to do

EDIT; HOLY FUCKING SHIT MAYBE MY PLEB PERIOD IS OVER FIRST TRY WITH THE WHIRLIGIG AND DOWN TO LIKE 5% LITERALLY IF I HAD THIS THING ALL ALONG I WOULD HAVE KILLED HIM NO PROBLEM, LET'S SEE IF I CAN GO DO IT SECOND TRY

EDIT EDIT: EVERYONE GO HOME SECOND TRY WITH THE WHIRLIGIG AND IT'S DEAD JESUS CHRIST I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT BRAIN I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU COULDN'T FIGHT THAT BOSS WITHOUT THAT SAW BUT WHATEVER