Dear nutter who stopped me in the street to berate me

Fuck you,

Is there really nothing in your life that could fulfil a better purpose, than to stop a random stranger in the street, and proceed to shout in their face and threaten them with bodily harm, for simply wearing a winter coat?

Yes, it's German. No, it's not part of a Nazi uniform; it is East German, dated 1983, and unissued. Yes, I admit I am not in the army. However, the fact that: I was wearing a Christmas jumper, black jeans, and doc martens alongside the coat; and the fact that military greatcoats have recently made a resurgence in fashion, being featured in magazines such as Vogue, may be a clear indication that I do not intent to insinuate that I am in the army - or more according with the coat, the no longer existent East German Ministry of State Security - and am most likely wearing it as a fashion statement. Also, I don't like the idea of killing people, so the army would not be a sensible choice for me.

You say that it's nothing personal - just after you said that you would strike me upside the head with your ivory tipped cane; if I did not comply to your order of removing the coat as soon is I got home.

If everyone acted on the profession of their current coat, I would be breaking into the houses of people wishing to defect to Scotland. This, being utterly ridiculous, gives you little right to berate random strangers due to their choice in clothing.

Good day