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r/Parenting•
34F

1.5 year old suddenly hates the crib - could it be time for a bed?

My daughter (20 months) has never been a great sleeper but she's been sleeping fairly happily in her crib in her own room since she was ~11 months. Suddenly, the past few weeks, bedtime has become a battle where it was never an issue before, and she's also started waking up numerous times a night again. We thought it was a nasty molar that was coming through but now it's out and things have improved a lot, but aren't perfect. I even took her to the doctor to check for an ear infection but she's totally healthy. Basically, she very much prefers to sleep in my bed and she sleeps dramatically better there.

I'm wondering if this could be an issue of simply preferring the feel of the mattress? I don't actually have to be in bed with her (I can stay up for a couple of hours before coming to bed and she sleeps through it) so I don't think it's an issue of needing to be near me. Though when I am there, she moves over to be very close and/or touching me.

Is it worth trying to convert her crib to a toddler bed? We have all the components so that's the easiest fix - if it would help at all.

Does it sound like we should get a twin mattress for her? We could toss the crib and do a floor bed I guess?

Should I just bed share for awhile and hope she eventually goes back to her own room? I don't hate it but it's certainly less convenient and I'd rather not set myself up for a cosleeping toddler for the next however many years.

I'd appreciate any thoughts. When does it make sense to just go for a twin bed anyway?

Posted Dec 28, 2015, 1:37 PM UTC

5551
moccasin_collector•

My daughter hated her crib and mostly co-slept with us because it was a huge battle to get her to sleep otherwise. When she turned about 14 months we took 1 side off the crib and added on a crib-sized bedrail. She absolutely loved it. The bedrail was big enough to keep her from falling out, but small enough to allow a gap on the sides that enabled her to climb in/out on her own. Definitely give it a try! If your daughter still associates it with crib anxiety, change the bedding so she feels like its a new "big girl" bed.

17
34FOP•

Yes! I was thinking maybe new bedding and putting on the guardrail thing would make it a "new" bed. It's worth a shot I guess!

8
speckleeyed•

We found a square slide thing... One of this sturdy plastic things most people put outside for kids to play on and we took one side down and the center platform and put a twin in the middle of it which fit perfectly. And we had the slide coming out the side right by the head of the bed. To keep it sturdy, we used tarp straps underneath the bedframe to connect the two loose ends since normally it had 4 walls. This encouraged him to play in his room some and made his bed a happy place and we could fit in it if necessary to help put him to sleep and read him stories too.

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TrishyMay•

I'm struggling to picture this. Could you draw a picture or send one?

1
speckleeyed•

Phew! He's older now but I actually had it in my Facebook pics! So here is what it looked like. You can see the play structure had 3 sides whereas they normally have 4 and there is a slide coming off to the right. The structure itself served as bedrails.

5
Wildfire9•

This right here. I have 20mo twins and the bedrail is where its at!

2
spinzard•

From what I have read they usually start trying to crawl out of the crib anywhere from age 1-2.5. Most people try to leave them in the crib until they start crawling out. Then it becomes dangerous and you should convert to toddler bed. My daughter is 17 months and we are currently purchasing bunk beds. We want to start transitioning her around October when I plan to get pregnant again. We want her fully transitioned out of the crib during pregnancy and before baby arrives so she doesn't feel slighted. We may use the toddler rail for the crib between now & then, but we are skipping the purchase of a "toddler bed." They are so short-lived and you can just put a rail on a twin bed instead.

If i was not planning to have another, i would try to keep her in the crib & toddler bed version of the crib for as long as possible.

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weavvesFelix and Eleanor's Stay-at-Home Dad (09/13 & 10/15)•

My son kept the rail on his twin bed for all of about two months before he decided he didn't like it anymore and broke it. Things have been fine since then. He's 2.25 and has been in his rail-free big boy bed since just before his birthday. Gets in and out on his own, never falls out.

He's also pretty tall for his age, though, so YMMV.

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nowhereian•

My first was ~1.5 when we made the call to move the crib to the new baby's room. We got her a twin size mattress from Ikea and put it on the floor. It worked out great. We got her a bed frame a few months later after she showed us she could climb in and out of our bed.

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aleii1•

Totally agree with putting the mattress on the floor! Its also working well for us and for friends with young kids too.

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Ajs1004•

If you're going to do it, get an actual twin mattress. If you think it's the feel of the mattress, then converting her crib to a toddler bed isn't doing anything but taking a rail off. That won't change her mattress in any way.

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34FOP•

Yeah that's my theory but it's difficult to test. I'm thinking I'll try the guardrail thing (since we have the parts to convert it anyway) and if that doesn't work, get a twin mattress.

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Hobartimus_Maximus•

Both of mine were out of the crib shortly after they started walking. We used a queen mattress on the floor instead of a bed with rails.

3
sidlessnancy•

Something similar happened with my daughter around 19 months. She would just not sleep in her crib. I had to hold her while she slept until she was out cold before I could get her back in her crib. Most times shed wake up instantly and we'd have to start over.

After a week and a half or two weeks it stopped and she went back to being fine in her crib. She's 21 months now and still ok. No idea what that was all about.

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34FOP•

Interesting! I've been kind of hoping this was just a phase, nice to hear that it passed for your daughter.

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[deleted]•

[deleted]

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thepriceforciv•

If it is the crib rails she doesn't like, converting to a toddler bed may help. If it is the mattress she doesn't like, you may need to get a new twin mattress or a really soft pad for the crib mattress. Something like this:

http://www.thecompanystore.com/primaloft-deluxe-reversible-mattress-topper/MA59.html?cgid=tn-mattress-toppers&dwvar_MA59_color=WHITE&start=1

Warning: do not use a mattress pad like this for an infant less than 12 months. It is too soft and could theoretically increase SIDS risk (similar to putting blankets down, but worse because their face would be right next to the mattress pad).

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34FOP•

That's an interesting option, thanks for the link!

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AshLegend•

We also had a crib hater. And can you blame them? We moved our son to a Montessori-style floor bed at 14 months and never looked back. My only wish is that we'd done it months sooner.

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34FOP•

Haha I have laid on her crib mattress and it's so hard! I don't blame her if that's the issue. I just wish she could tell me the problem, it would make things so much simpler!

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makeshiftlove•

We moved our son to a twin bed when he was about this age and he loved it. Our situation was a bit different - we didn't want to convert the crib because I was pregnant again and hoping to not need a second one for the new baby. Personally, I really liked going straight to the twin bed! Leaves enough room to lay in bed with them for snuggles or stories, and it feels so different from the crib that he was very excited about his big boy bed. We put a box spring on the ground with the mattress on top and still used a mesh rail just in case. I would imagine you could just put the mattress directly on the ground, but our son rolls around quite a bit, so this seemed like the perfect combination of giving him space to roll around but decreasing the chances of a fall - and making sure that it wasn't a big fall if he did.

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34FOP•

Now that you say it, I do love the idea of reading books and stuff right in the bed! I'm not sure how much she'd roll around, but we will have to figure out some solution just in case.

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mynameisacoolname•

We transitioned my son into his toddler bed at around 1.5. I would put him down in his crib, and he would hop out and follow me to his door - it was a bit of a nightmare! We went toddler bed, then twin bed on the floor with rails. He was in his toddler bed for about a year, until around 2.5

He is a great sleeper and really the only time (outside of an illness) we have had issues is when he started climbing out of his crib, so a toddler bed (with fun bedding of course!) might be just what she needs.

2
WayCrunchy•

I had great success with the floor bed at about 11 months I started to transition my babe from sleeping with me to a mattress on the floor. (fully baby proofed room with a baby gate up) It was an easy transition because I could easily lay with/nurse her in her own bed until she fell asleep then super sneaky slip out of there to sleep in my own adjoining room. My older son went from crib to toddler bed and I tell you he never recovered. He never napped again! The horror! lol

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34FOP•

Oh no! Haha I am also a fan of nursing to sleep then sneaking away, that's a big point in favor of just going ahead and getting a twin mattress.

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QueenOfTheMud•

We took the side off the crib last week for my 15m old monkey. He does well with it. We are still cosleeping part of the night but getting him to bed is much easier.

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vicvision•

We had a friend give us a twin bed with box spring and metal frame when our daughter was around 18 months. We had little space to spare so decided that night too disassemble the crib and upgrade outright to bed. She did not like this! She was crying and holding the pieces and my screwdriver as I took it apart. Getting her into her new bed once she was tired was surprisingly easy.

As a crib sleeper she would constantly push up against the sides. We were concerned she would continue to do this in the bed and fall out. After switching to the bed, within half an hour of being asleep she rolled out of bed onto the pillows I had placed there. After calming her and getting her back to bed she hasn't fallen out since. She quickly adjusted to the bed and now sleeps better and wakes up happier.

2
thegirlwithglasses_•

We ended up using a floor bed when my then 9th month old just couldn't handle the crib another night. She HATED it and slept pretty bad in it. She didn't like being confined. We put her in on a mattress on a floor that we just so happened to have. You just really have to make sure the room is baby proof, it should act as a larger crib so to speak. She slept like a rock on her own room on a floor bed. I later switched the crib to toddler mode once she was able to climb onto it her self. She slept on it until we got her own bed around 18 months. Use whatever you have. We wanted to use the crib in toddler mode mostly because we spent money on a crib that she never used.

2
kennyminot•

We're skipping the crib with our next one. Our first one only spent a few months in it.

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sobedog•

My 2 Year old knows how to open the front door, kitchen cabinets, you name it. I want him in the crib so that I can have control, otherwise he could wake up before me and do god knows what by the time I realize it. Too dangerous.... Keep them in the crib as long as possible.

1†
RagnodOfDoooom•

There's things you can do to minimize their wandering and getting into things. You can get a deadbolt cover from Safety First so they can't open the front door. There's cabinet locks so they can't get into the cabinets. And you could even try putting a baby gate or a doorstop on their door to keep them in their room. They aren't going to be able to stay in a crib forever.

9
RayningAcid•

This. My son climbed out of his crib at naptime and I found him on the stairs (I was in the bathroom when he did it). It wouldn't have been safe to keep the crib sides on, so off they came, a toddler rail went on the bed, and a gate on the door. That never happened again . I kept the gate there until we moved to a flat with no stairs, because it was the safe thing to do.

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RagnodOfDoooom•

We kept a baby gate at the top and bottom of ours stairs until we moved to a single story. Now there's no need, and no where, to use the gates.

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sobedog•

Of course, I know all that. But I have a pretty good size place and it is impossible to baby proof it all, there is something always where they can get hurt. My point is to keep them in the crib as long as possible, and 1.5 years is way too early.

-1
mndtrp•

No, it's not. We put our son in a toddler bed at 1.5 years, and he hasn't gotten out of his room unsupervised in the months that have followed. While you may not feel comfortable with it, it's not unheard of for parents to never even have their kids in a crib.

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RagnodOfDoooom•

Then put the baby gate right in their door. Or get a doorstop like I mentioned so they can't even get of their room. It just kind of sounds like you don't even want to make the effort to baby proof the house. And btw, my son was also out of his crib by around 1.5 years so that's not too early.

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meganmaxinenicole•

I don't know how big your place is, my house is 3000 Sq ft, with an upstairs and a downstairs, and it's 100% baby proofed(I have 3 kids under 3, so I pretty much had to get it all baby proof haha).

It's not impossible. It just takes a lot of time, and alot of equipment, and you can get the whole house baby proofed.

1
sobedog•

I have baby proofed the most dangerous and obvious things, but it is almost impossible to baby proof the entire house especially when I have a little linebacker (99% height, 95% weight) who can easily reach table lamps, TV's AV equipment, etc etc... I have a nanny as well who comes in early and helps. I have thought of the idea of switching to a bed and keeping the baby (toddler) locked in the room in case he gets up before us, I think that's the next logical step.

1
makeshiftlove•

Put a cover on the inside of the bedroom door. Very simple and means you only need to completely baby proof their bedroom. Saying 1.5 years is way too early to be out of the crib just isn't true for all kids.

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meganmaxinenicole•

My son started climbing out of his crib at about 1.5. Now hes a little over 2 and a half. I miss the days when I could just set him in his crib and that was then end of it haha.

1
zangorn•

I think they don't like feeling trapped. We have an old school crib where we can lower one wall, so in the morning he could easily climb out. That worked well for that stage. I think it's completely normal and it seems people here are basically saying the same thing. If you let them sleep in your bed once, it will be very hard to go back. And it's not because of the mattress, it's because she wants to sleep with you. Go for a toddler bed or a mattress on the floor.

1
RagnodOfDoooom•

Be careful with your drop side crib. Kids have been hurt bad before. There's a reason drop side cribs aren't in production anymore.

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zangorn•

Yea, we heard. Apparently, a few people didn't lock it in the up position correctly and when it drops down accidentally, people blame the crib for the damage it can do. When used correctly, it's actually quite nice. Either way, it just allowed us to turn it into a small toddler bed. We've since jumped straight to a twin size kids bed which works great for our 3 year old now.

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[deleted]•

[deleted]

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Oaktree3•

This was my thought too, that the actual feel of the bed is the issue. Those toddler mattresses are hard and cold! I'm wondering if that egg crate foam stuff can be cut to size for the toddler bed and put underneath the bottom sheet? I mean I don't know that that's certified baby proof stuff but if they're sleeping in an adult bed it's already breaking the "rules " lol. Something to think about I guess

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34FOP•

Someone linked to a product like this elsewhere in the thread, it's definitely something to consider.

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Oaktree3•

Oh thanks!! That would be helpful!

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