Source
r/OCPoetry•
BlondeNinja182

Come Feel the Dark With Me

Feedback Received!

I wish you could be in my head for just one day,
to feel the hole where my soul once thrived.
Feel the gaping cavity that is now just dead barren space.

I am paralyzed, gasping for breath;
mind, body, and soul rocketing to opposite ends of the universe.
At my worst, this is all my body can manage.
I will break, if not held together; I will break.
Come feel my pain and understand.

Look into my shattered mind and dare tell me that I am ok.
Live in my head for a day,
you will see I have no place to ground my feet.
No stable foundation to rest my head.
I just keep falling into the abyss.

Come feel the dark with me.

1-https://oc.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/414dis/a_burning_flower/
2-https://oc.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/40otcl/running_to_war/

Posted Jan 16, 2016, 4:03 AM UTC · edited

54
autodidact89•

Correct me if this wasn't your intention but it seems to capture the harrowing woes of mental illness that can't always be seen or understood from an outside perspective.

I like these lines because they give a physicality to bring the message home.

you will see I have no place to ground my feet.

No stable foundation to rest my head.

3
BlondeNinja182OP•

That it was.

1
EdgarAllanHoeBag•

You really captured the loneliness of being mentally ill perfectly. It made me sad, yet feeling less alone at the same time with the understanding of how alone someone else can also feel, when dealing with something similar.

2
keeganrm•

The imagery here put me in your shoes. You do a great job of conveying the struggling loneliness. It was enough to make me want to reach out and help, and feel the dark, to try to truly understand. Touching poem.

2