TIFU by going on a naked date.

First off, no this has nothing to do with that VH1 show. Aside from inspiration, maybe... but I was not on it. Secondly, this happened about a month ago, during Hannukah (first week of December I wanna say).

So, some context. I'm a 28 year old guy living in a big city with a lot of people, so in a lot of my free time I like to meet women from OKCupid/Tinder/CMB because why the hell not, maybe I'll get something, maybe something will stick, who knows. Been doing it for the past two years and it's happened from time to time and I got better and better at it (was socially awkward when I first started, now it's like whatever), and it's fun! Learn something new each time. Plus I love meeting new people and exploring new things.

So anyway. I mentioned that VH1 show earlier. Well, like I said I was never on it (I actually never even really watched it in full, just seen random clips on youtube and stuff), but funny story, I have actually been intrigued by the idea of it since actually before the show even existed. Well, not exactly the idea of going on naked dates, but more a mix of the concept of being naked with a stranger of the opposite sex in a non-sexual setting trying to not be too distracted (kind of like in Naked and Afraid), as well as just plain non-sexual nudity/intimacy in general. Don't get me wrong, I like sex, but in my few past relationships, whenever clothes were off, we would just fuck or fool around sexually, never really got a chance to spend much time simply hanging out naked or even cuddling was scarce since they'd always happen to be kinda weird about that. Which was unfortunate because I kind of wanted to, it had always been a secret fantasy.

So anyway, back to me. So after a couple months of countless failed (or not lasted) dates back in November, I'm talking to this nice lady on CMB, a 32-year old physical therapist. At first she seems like a regular down-to-earth attractive woman (which is good, but so are a lot of the ones on that app I met up with so nothing stood out yet significantly) asking each other the usual icebreaker questions and I figure it's gonna be just another one I'll end up meeting for a quick coffee or drink and then probably make out (with a 40% chance) and then probably not hear from her again, since that's what usually happens to me. Or maybe something else, who knows. I've taught myself to never have any expectations, at least high ones, since whenever I don't something seems to actually happen. Haha

So as expected, our schedules make us have wait at least a week before getting together, so naturally I end up killing time until then texting with her. I know, that's a bad idea to build something up and get too excited, and not something I generally do, I usually like to meet right away unless our schedules permit otherwise. And when that happens I don't usually go out of my way to make small-talk forced conversation with them unless either she initiates first, or I actually have something to ask (either of which could always lead to an intense discussion, but hey I roll with it).

So anyway... we do end up texting a lot since we had common interests to talk about and common philosophical views and curiosity and overall a lot to talk about. At one point, actually before any sexual subject arose, the subject of cuddling came up and how we both like it, asked each other if we were good and yadda yadda yadda made plans to cuddle (I've done that before, it's not really a big deal or the same as asking for a booty call plus we had been talking for a while). She had also mentioned being adventurous and into trying weird new things, and also hinted at having an interest in intimacy-related situations, so I took a step forward and proposed the idea of doing first-date-icebreakers while cuddling. She was of course enthusiastic and ecstatic about that and all over the idea that she couldn't wait to do it. And that it was a 'great way to bond' and make you feel closer together. So that was set.

Then, continuing the discussion (still with no intention to propose anything further) I asked if she's watched Dating Naked. Because, y'know, it's relevant. Then she said she hadn't but that there certainly was 'a lot to be said about it', and that it was interesting doing things like that getting to know someone while in a state of vulnerability and all, and also comparing it to the idea of cuddling and how it's like non-sexual intimacy. Then she said something which got my attention, about how "if two people who are into each other lay naked and cuddle and have stimulating conversation in that intimate silence without having it be sexual, it could be probably the most intimate experience you can have". That quote caught me off guard by surprise... cause she was literally speaking my language right there! I also was thinking, shit, this is my big chance. So I jokingly asked her if she was propositioning something, and she said she "wouldn't be opposed to it"... so yes, long story short, we agreed to do this.

Best part was, when we were talking about it, she actually seemed more enthusiastic than me. Then again, I kinda trained myself to not sound over-enthusastic when talking to women I'm interested in or about to meet since that's usually off-putting, so I kept it in. I mean, while it's good to save room for spontaneity, if we're doing this, we have to discuss things like the threshold for touching, being distracted by sexual sensations, how we should start this date, other potential things we can while naked to keep us busy getting to know each other (other than cuddling, I mean options are kind of limited when confined to a house, but there are still plenty), and the like. I mean don't get me wrong, it would be great if it does lead to something sexual (after all we are hoping to work out so we should be attracted to each other), but you can't plan for it to happen, gotta keep it in the back of your mind. The best part was that she understood that perfectly and was also thinking the same thing without even having to discuss that. So yeah, I figure I can definitely spend a good amount of time naked with an attractive woman I'm meeting for the first time and actually make an effort to get to know her, and was looking forward to it.

The time leading up to the date went by slow, but we passed the time with texting (mostly initiated by her, of course), and joking about it and stuff. She also kept expressing enthusiasm like before joking about how "it will probably ruin her since she's really gonna like it", while of course I felt the same but kept it in for the reasons above.

So... the day came, it happened! Sure enough it was as awesome as expected. She picked me up, we drove straight to her house, opened with a stripping game and it actually wasn't awkward at all, probably cause it's been talked about all week. Sure enough she was just as attractive in person as in pictures, definitely exceeding my expectations for without clothes. And the date overall actually went pretty solid! Sure enough, aside from hugging a lot, we actually did manage to hold back for a bit, I didn't even kiss her until four hours in.

Started out cuddling and talking like planned, then got up and went to cook some latkes (potato pancakes), which was a bit scary with the oil splatters (more for me) but they were great, even tried something unusual dipping them in chocolate which actually tasted pretty good, then we snuggled up on the couch and watched Finding Nemo... pretty solid night.

But yeah, as you'd expect, it did sexually escalate in the end (and it was pretty damn amazing). I mean we kinda both knew that would happen. But we had spent literally 8 hours together, naked, and learned a lot about each other, and were really comfortable, and it didn't feel like a mere 'booty call'. She actually kept saying how comfortable she was and on the way home were both talking about a second date (with clothes on) as well as in texts the following day, and her saying how she feels like she's known me forever and whatnot.

Everything seems good so far right? Well here's where a few fuck-ups happen. You know how there's that myth about how "faking aloof" works, and not texting too frequently or sounding to excited because that is apparently off-putting to women? Well, turns out that is entirely true, as absurd as it sounds.

A few days post date, while we were planning/trying to find room in our schedule for our second one she started acting a bit different. Still excited and flirty, but I guess there was one day I guess I sent one too many texts (you'd think at this stage it shouldn't matter) and she said I need to "settle down" (even though it was just me saying stuff, it wasn't like I was being frantic with a bunch of "you there"s), so I was like okay whatever guess I'll give some space. Then, even after I was pretty scarce with texting I noticed she hadn't responded for four days.

I definitely hadn't been bombarding her phone and in my last contact with her she did seem excited, but come on, four days is a long time. If she was gonna be the type of sociopath selfish to end it they cowardly "ghosting" way and give no closure whatsoever without even at least saying she's no longer interested after all that, I wasn't having that since that's a pretty cunt move on her end. So I called her out on it. Of course I was no longer interested in her myself (am certainly not one to put women on a pedastool), but I was determined to make her talk for the hell of it. Mainly cause I was insulted by the fact that she was "hoping I'd get bored". I mean, I've been ghosted before so I know what yo expect, but still this isn't this place for it.

So I continued to try to get her to say it, while simultaneously talking to new women. Called her out on it, told her what she's doing goes against a lot of things she previously said, and how she would like if someone did that to her, and so forth. Still nothing, not that I expected anything.

Then (and here's fuck up #1, but it really could have been a lot worse than it actually was because it was a terrible idea, though I'm kinda glad I did it), I decided to for fun show up at the trivia night she kept talking about frequenting and how she's always coming in top three. I had no intention of approaching her there, I was just gonna go and see what happens and probably play myself since I'm a trivia fiend. It's also a huge bar and easy enough to blend in, so less awkward if one of us wants to avoid the other. Plus, it's one of the few bars in the area that actually has my drink of choice, so I have an excuse to be there. So I went, played, didn't do too well, enjoyed some drinks, and in fact I didn't even see her (or maybe just didn't recognize her with clothes on haha) but I made some random new friends while I was there. But apparently she saw me since she texted me to yell at me once I was on the train home. She did say all the closure stuff I wanted her, but still, can't believe it took me showing up there to fucking get her to say that. And as you would expect, she tried to turn it on me, but whatever I was glad to hear from her but figured I'd let it go. After all, don't wanna get in any trouble and she could easily fuck me over if she wants to even when I haven't done anything.

Now I noticed something though when pursuing new women (and this is fuck up #2), after having done this, even though I've been on over 100 first dates from these things, now I realize I just have less of a desire or motivation to do so cause everything's gonna seem lame now. The irony is that she kept joking about how this date would "ruin" her, but really it ruined me in that way.

Not cause that girl was pedastool-worthy, god forbid, just cause of that date, which I probably will never get to do again. I mean it's not something you can just ask someone, haha it'd be great if there was an app specifically for it though!

But yeah, have not been on any dates since. Though part of it is attributed to the fact that I've had a shitty cold and had to reschedule a few or had other stuff come up, but I just haven't felt as enthusiastic about any of them. I did have about five or six girls I've exchanged numbers with since then.

I guess that's a good thing since now my lack of over-enthusiasm will be natural and girls seem to be drawn to that since it comes off as more 'mysterious'. Haha

I actually am supposed to finally have my first one since the above sometime tonight (after having rescheduled it twice already), so wish me luck. lol

TL;DR: Met up with attractive woman from dating app, spend 8 hours hanging out, completely naked. She acted enthusiastic talking about how comfortable she was and then unexpectedly ghosted. Have less or no motivation to date or meet people anymore since everything seems lame now.