Hipster Warped Cigars Contest

Hello Everybody it's your favorite r/cigars member /u/mrsmallbatch u/Dancetar. I hope you are all having a swell day, I know I have, because I just smoked a WARPED FUTURO! That's right, you are reading a Warped Cigars Contest Review™.

You may be wondering why I used the word swell, well, it is because they used swell back in the good ole' days, and guess who tries to recreate the old days! Hipsters, that's right, hipsters. Just like our overlord u/warpedcigars, I mean seriously, he is hipster through and through, and I love it. So dedicate this hipster review to the one and only hipster overlord, Kyle. And who better to do it, than someone rocking the same (similar) hair style, long on top, shaved down the side with a beard. I mean, we are practically twins. Proof: Kyle - Me. Manbuns. All you need to know.

First of all, lets look at the cigar. It is a truly beautiful stick. It has such a fantastic sheen on it and wonderful construction (which I will get to later). Here you can see it with all of my travel sticks that I brought up from LA for Christmas and January. Pretty much what I am doing is flaunting my HUGE cigar collection... But seriously, this is a fantastic looking stick. I have had it before and love it (probably one of my favorite Warped Cigars).

Pairing: Seeing as I am already at my 1800 calorie limit for the day, I got to pick something with no calories. I mean, lets be real. I need to fit into my skinny jeans. So I decide to pick up this single origin water from a local water distillery, you may have heard of them... They are called trader joes. I would never ever do a photo like this that is so obviously hipster and cliche.... But seriously, this is such a hipster drink. It is even the drink of choice to cleanse the palate for coffee tasting. So I thought, why not for cigars?

Beginning of the cigar: Fantastic smoke output. I'm getting some great flavors out of this. Pretty creamy and nutty. I really dig it. And let's be real, it wouldn't be an r/cigars post without a crappy crotch photo and a caption of "dat ash"... I'm looking at you u/photo_rob with all of your DSLR plebeian crap... I'm using straight up Iphone Technology with a free app to edit it... get on my hipster level.

Continuing on: This cigar gets a nice leather and very tiny hint of pepper with it. I really dig this profile. Super tasty. The burn is perfect, seriously such a well made cigar. Good draw too. And guess what time it is? It's time to take a similar photo as another r/cigars member. [[Here is my interpretation of a u/lurker_to_poster photo.](http://imgur.com/e0SiXQn)](http://imgur.com/prg7FJR). I didn't quite get the arms out. But I feel like I nailed the glare up at the camera. It's not a perfect comparison, but I feel like I got the lurker2poster vibe.

Finishing up: This cigar went a little south on me. I was smoking in 96% humidity so I definitely didn't do anything to help the cigar with those conditions. It got a little harsh but actually brought out some nice leather and pepper notes. The creamy and nutty notes were gone, but it was still a good cigar. It started to tunnel on me, but that isn't because of the bad construction, rather the bad weather conditions.

Final thoughts? If Calhoun liked it, I loved it. And yes, he is named after John C. Calhoun, all hipsters name their cats after historical figures, duh. So on the hipster scale, I give it a rolled up jeans, long socks, and sperry's/10... I mean seriously, how are Kyle and I not twins?. All in all, I loved the stick. The pairing did pretty well and I would seriously buy a box of these if I didn't have to pay for a wedding in 135 days.

For my timestamp I really didn't have anything to write on, so I took this video of me signing January 19th in ASL.

Album for those who want to do that kind of shit, sorry it is out of order.