A Black Diary

Here it is:
three hundred and sixty-five new bullets
all to shoot myself with.

I can’t help it,
the more I come to understand about myself
the more I suffer,
the only thing keeping me alive
is slowly killing me.

Every night I have to go to bed with myself
and look the abuser in the eyes.

*io no te amo*
- I cry.
*Ne me parle pas plus*
- I whisper.

Victim. 
Villain.
Witness.

I want to love you,
I want to hold you,
I want to cover your face
with a plastic bag
and kiss your lips goodbye.

1, 2

Io no te amo = I do not love you

Ne me parle pas plus = Do not speak to me anymore