Empty Sparks Around Kurt's Spine

Feedback Received!

Blankets of light,
Twisting and falling,
Nevermind the night,
The sun, it is calling,
As flowers take flight,
In the rings around your teeth.

Blistering, yet,
A pain in your chest, but
You will not forget,
The scent of a chestnut,
Filled up to be set,
On the ground next to the bean.

Love in the air,
And needles in your arms,
Dirt in her hair,
So far from any harm,
And you don't have a care,
That you need to growl about it.

In utero's of red,
A force hard and beating,
And heaven in bed,
With immediate seating,
There's nothing you said,
That you need to be sorry for.


r/ocpoetry/comments/44lmgx/a_night/czra6bv
r/ocpoetry/comments/44dc1a/chapter_9_android_laika/czqv7k9

Posted Feb 7, 2016, 7:14 PM UTC

86
tompynuts•

God I loved this. Great descriptions and the rhythm man, the rhythm! I could totally see this being a song.

2
WhereAreYou2nightOP•

Hey, thanks, partner. This was sort of a spur of the moment thing. I was trying to pay homage to a certain music legend, so the idea was to write a song, not necessarily a poem.

2
redsox6•

Kurt Cobain right? Your use of imagery and juxtaposition is great. "Growl" is a great choice of word for his voice, describes it perfectly. The first two and last two lines are my favorite.

2
WhereAreYou2nightOP•

"growl" was a play on "grohl"

2
JustAMick2U•

Was this all stream of consciousness or written out? I am very impressed with the nods you made to songs and facts about him. Concept pieces are often difficult to follow, due to limited knowledge of subject matter by the reader, or specific to one's own tastes. You picked an icon for yours, which makes it a very relatable piece (for those of us who were Nirvana fans).

Also, that title... any info on that?

2
WhereAreYou2nightOP•

Stream of consciousness. It wasn't originally about Kurt Cobain, but he was just sort of on my mind, so you know, it shaped itself that way.

The title just sounded interesting to me. The original was "Holes in Kurt's Stomach" but I didn't want to make it too obvious who the subject was.

edit- there are 8 total references, do you think you can find them all?

2