This resonates with me. I like your rhyme scheme also, as well as your stanzas. It screams depression, which I too have. Hang in there, brother. 

I think this describes depression completely. You want to be in that state between being asleep and being awake, because that is when you are not conscious (or dont realize that you are?) and therefore don't feel the pain or fear. Some place where you are numbed and don't have to think. Great piece, keep it up!

Thanks man. And ya, looking back at it, I agree. I put the "the" there originally to make the syllables match the rest of the poem, but looking back at it I realize that it'd be better off without. Like you said, it breaks up the natural rhythm by being forced in there.

"Arise again for dreamless day"

This was beautiful, and I find that the way you use rhymes helps make it sort of lullaby like. The poem is haunting in a way, just like the questions, frights and apathy that pursue you.

If I have one minor criticism it is that some of the rhythm gets broken up by the lines differing in length. Such as: 

"that speak to haunt and dare remind
the nightmares born out of the mind"

In this segment the *the*, makes the second line a bit too long in my opinion. I know it's not much, but hopefully it can help a bit.

Good job, and hang in there. At least you're turning your pain into something beautiful.

Thank you for the constructive criticism. I agree with what you're saying; when I wrote this poem I was just getting some things off my chest that I had wanted to write down for some time, and on finding this sub it promoted me into action, and so I kinda neglected putting complexity into my end rhymes. Also, word usage has always been a weak suit of mine, and something I need to improve upon! I'll hopefully rewrite this poem soon with everyone's advice in mind, but probably won't post it when I do. However, I'm really enjoying this sub, and if I write again I'll focus more on maker my poem more involved and less obvious. Thanks again!

I appreciate the attention to rhythm, and there's clearly been some thought put into form and structure.  I think the one thing which drags this poem away, kicking and screaming, from the impactful piece it wants to be is the quality of the rhymes themselves.  They're almost always the most "obvious" one, and that creates a deadening sensation rather than shocking, challenging, or titillating the reader.  The worst ones of the bunch are "miss/amiss" and "mind/remind".   I highly suggest reworking those four lines at a very bare minimum.  Your poem will thank you for it.  

"Indeed is sleep something I miss
Or do I sense something's amiss?"

This is the only stanza I think sounds awkward. The rest is well written and has a rhyme scheme reminiscent of Poe.

    Why do I find it hard to wake

    To open eyes for no ones sake?
    Indeed is sleep something I miss
    Or do I sense something's amiss?

    Forever found in fruitless fray
    Arise again for dreamless day
    And me, And us, And all the earth
    are all alone for what it's worth

    I find no comfort in the light
    And thus await alone for night
    To find myself at home in bed
    Till lost to voices in my head

    And I alone had once forgot
    The dangers that my brain now thought
    That speak to haunt and dare remind
    The nightmares born out of the mind

    And lying there so scared and still
    From evil, darkness did instill
    A question now that makes me weep

    Why do I find it hard to sleep?


https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/464z5r/studying/d02v99h
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/466ayk/three_wordsonnets_a_study_in_minimalism/d02vl84

Why Do I?