I (31f) had a falling out with my husbands friend (30?m). He's going through a divorce and wants to make amends. Mixed feelings. What do?

Hi, Reddit!

I'll try to be as brief and to the point as possible.

Husband "Mark" (32m) and I got together in 2010 and I started integrating with his friends. I'll call this particular friend Peter. In 2010, I met Peter and his fiancee "Tanya" (20s) and even attended their wedding. Everything seemed to be going fantastic. Laughs and great times had at all subsequent hangouts until 2012.

Peter lives about 2 hours away from Mark and I, so the majority of our interactions were on Facebook. Over time I'd noticed Peter becoming progressively more rude in his online interactions with me. I'd played it off to keep the peace, because our in person interactions were totally fine. Maybe he didn't communicate well online?

It came to a head in 2012 when Mark made a very vague Facebook spoiler joke about a show (our circle are all fans). The joke was received well, except by Peter, who was annoyed at the spoiler because he had not watched that episode yet (it was a big one...). Fair enough, right?

Then, a day later Peter does the same damn thing, only way more obvious! A few people called him out on it, which he did not like. Someone even said "fuck you!" to him. My stance on it was that he shouldn't have wrote the spoiler after making such a fuss about Mark's post... However I did say that people were taking their comments too far.

Peter then basically tells me to shut up. I can't remember the wording exactly, but he didn't say anything to anyone else... Including the person who told him to fuck off!

At this point I had enough of his attitude, so I removed him from Facebook. I send him a private message and ask him what the deal is with him being so snotty towards me online and explaining why I removed him. I mentioned to him that I didn't know exactly where we went wrong and that I'd like to work it out with him for Mark's sake. I made sure that I was extremely polite.

He then sends me this really nasty reply telling me how he never liked me at all and that he couldn't care less about me removing him. I told him that he was extremely cold and that I felt sorry for him. Then he sends a final reply sarcastically thanking me for spamming his inbox, then completely blocks me.

I explained the situation to Mark, who wasn't happy with Peter. I told him not to ruin a friendship with Peter over it, as they'd been friends for over 15 years. I do not know what interactions they've had about it.

Funnily enough, Tanya messages me later that day and was very supportive of me. She even said that Peter had been "a complete ass" and was disappointed in his actions, but that she didn't want to get into a fight with him over it. Ok, fine.

We've seen each other twice since then. Once at our wedding, and once after that. Both times Peter and I barely said a word to each other - yeah it was uncomfortable.

Fast forward to now - Tanya left Peter last month because she doesn't love him anymore. I am genuinely sympathetic because divorces are painful.

Peter wants to visit Mark and his brother David, and asks Mark if I will come too. I told Mark that I am not coming as I am not comfortable around Peter. Mark of course understands and relays this back to Peter.

Peter then says to Mark that he wants to make amends with me and that if I'm uncomfortable coming to see him, he'll send me a Facebook message. This was three days ago.

I have conflicting feelings about this. I would like to bury the hatchet on many levels. I get along with almost everyone and it's a trend I'd like to keep up.

I'd pretty much do anything for my husband and I know this would make him happy. He's been very understanding and will support me no matter what I do.

However, there's a very stubborn part of me who would be perfectly content never to speak to Peter again. He treated me like absolute shit. Before he basically said I was a waste of space, Peter acted like I was his friend. I feel like he mislead me. I would have been totally understanding if he had just been upfront about it.

He had four years to try to make it right, and now he wants to because he's getting a divorce? Come on. I've had four years with minimal drama and I am reluctant to open up and let him and his drama in again.

Also, he still hasn't reached out to me. Seems to me that if Peter was actually serious about this, he'd have done it already. I don't want him trying to make amends with me just because he has some misguided need for atonement because of the divorce.

At this point I can't trust that this is genuine.

Nothing has changed... if I pissed him off and annoyed him before, I am still going to. I didn't suddenly become awesome overnight.

So Reddit, what do?

Tl;dr:.... Fucking Facebook.