I can't function with the amount of hate bubbling up inside me.

I feel like I'm going to explode with hatred for him.

I gave him so much, I tried so hard, I spent so much of our relationship apologising for things I didn't even understand.

Last night I invited him to my birthday party. We hadn't spoken in months but I thought he might come. He told me he was feeling depressed and so he wasn't drinking and wasn't going out but thanked me for the invite.

He was lying. He went out that same night.

I'm angry that I'm angry. I'm angry I give a shit. I'm angry I keep breaking. I'm just not strong enough for this, I'm not. I'm scared I'll spend the rest of my life chasing someone who doesn't give a shit about me.