First full week of insomnia and finally relief

I have had periods of insomnia in the past. I would have trouble falling asleep until usually 6-7 am. This hadn't happened since August 2015 when I started vinyasa yoga.

This time, I would fall asleep at my usual time, sleep for an hour or two then wake up abruptly and then find it impossible to sleep again until 6-7 am out of sheer exhaustion.

So this last week was the week of hell. A lot of things coincided to make it terrible:

• My dad made it known he was gravely concerned about my future as I had been unemployed (by choice) since July 2015. This comment made me feel extreme pressure as it is out of my hands / having a masters degree and no job essentially = failure.

• My mom left on vacation, food dwindled from nutritious to maintenance mode. Insomnia immediately zapped my energy, otherwise I would've been all over this. I love cooking and eating well.

• Had 2 job interviews

• Started new job on thursday

• Had to quit current yoga studio due to new job schedule and location

I slept 2 hrs every night except on Tuesday when I slept a full 8. Knowing I have something important and/or new to do the next day almost guarantees I will not sleep.

So I started this job on thursday and right off the bat apologized for looking like a crack addict and not being more enthusiastic. I still managed to give some good input during meetings and my boss and I connected over the 'mind racing and not being able to sleep' thing.

On Friday evening I tried to find a doctor but couldn't. Ordered overpriced super stuffed delicious tacos because I got money now, figured fatigue from overeating could only help. Mom came back and gave me liquid Clonazepam. I poured 1 drop too many and got scared, this drug being unfamiliar to me. Dipped a q-tip in it to remove, might have been left with a very low dose. Slept from 9:30 pm -1 am and from 4 am to 1 pm.

Saturday: wake up feeling much better but knowing I still have a strong sleep deficit. Find doctor, explain. I wanted something other than Clonazepam but she said while my anxiety was not distressing or debilitating, panic attack style, it was still anxiety which prevented my sleep. I accepted it and also bought Melatonin 5mg sublingual.

• 10:15 pm: took 0.5 mg Clonazepam tablet
• 11:15 pm: feel nothing physical, but my brain is not throwing out unsolicited thoughts at me. no helpful drowsiness.
• 11:30 pm: took sublingual melatonin. no bad taste, quick dissolve.
• 12:00 am: SLEEEEEEEEEPPPPP!!!!!!!!!
• 7:00 AM: wake up, try to go back to sleep
• 8:30 am: get out of bed as going back to sleep was unsuccesful. So I had breakfast, did laundry, walked around 3 miles, got a good dose of sunshine. hoping to jumpstart a better schedule this monday that relies only on melatonin. I really don't want the clonazepam unless I absolutely need it.

I also bought a new pillow that is a lot softer. My other pillows were made of some sort of latex memory foam that were soft but firm and held shape well. However, they didn't make me feel like I could melt into them. This one does.

I also bought lavender essential oil. I made a lavender spray by mixing with alcohol and water. I spritz this on my sheets and in the air. Smells good but doesn't last. Also used the oil directly on my pillow, a few drops on each side. In a totally coincidental move, I found a hair scrunchie and put 4 drops on it. I wore it in my hair and then put it on my wrist when I went to bed. I could hold it to my nose and inhale deeply as needed, I found this to be extremely soothing.