I [30/m] need to break away from her [31/f]

I feel like I am getting pushed along in a relationship where I am having no say and because I don’t have the confidence to speak out. I do everything to make my girlfriend happy. We have lived together for four years, I feel like I gave up my old life to move in with her and I’m tired of being away from my friends and rarely seeing my family. This is because where I have moved to to be with my girlfriend – the middle of nowhere.

I love my girlfriend very much, she is very kind and loving, I love spending time with her but she is determined for us to get married this September. I feel like this date has been forced upon me as this is when her brother and family are visiting from overseas. They were already coming over and I feel she has used this time to force a wedding date to be set as she says they will not be able to come across again for years because of the cost.

I love spending time with my girlfriend but find this life too claustrophobic. I have tried and failed to break up with my girlfriend twice now, but have backed down twice when she has talked me out of it. Only at Christmas did I try to break up with her, I felt trapped and needing space, time and to see my friends and family and now she is pushing ahead with picking wedding venues, an engagement ring and giving me an ultimatum to purpose to her by the end of this month.

My girlfriend and I are a similar age, she is ready to settle down and to have children. I do love her but this life makes me feel caught and trapped and like someone is pushing down on my chest whenever this wedding is mentioned. I know now I am being unfair to her, as she thinks we will get married but all I want to do is escape.

I just don’t know how to make the break and get out – I don’t want to be a coward and run but I know I will back down if I try to speak to her again, I’ve already failed twice.