I dont know what to do differently...

Why is shit so hard man. I can't fucking take it. Nothing ever seems to workout right and life is just filled with despair and suffering. Why do we even try when most of the time nothing comes of it. The more money you have the more problems. Doing anything of "value"is actually pointless. The universe has a tendency towards shitting on you. In spite of you being a good person, things just shit on you. Fuck working Hard, fuck school, fuck helping others. Why is everything that is pleasurable negative in the long run. Fucking, eating, sleeping... Whatever it is is fucking bad if you do it too much. Why the fuck does it have to be this way. And even if you want to try and make things right, there is always some shit trying to stand In your way, whether it be outside factors or yourself. What's the point of all this shit. It's fucking horseshit and pointless. We are all just going to die anyways. Success is just a fucking carrot on a string. Shit is always fucking me over. How the fuck are you supposed to fix anything when there is always shit standing in your way. Fuck all you people who are rags to riches and all that shit. I wish y'all would just fucking quit all your high horse bullshit and just give up on life. There is always just some fucking shit holding you back. Fucking insecurities that just exist for no reason, fucking shitty ass people that want to just fuck people over, fucking dumb ass society that wants to keep your ass in the shitter. What the fuck man. This shit got me all fucked up. I fucking hate successful people because I want to fucking be like them but I fucking can't for some fucking reason. Why the fuck does it have to be this way and why is changing things so fucking hard. I hate this shit with every cell in my body. Why the fuck am I like this. I secretly despise what my parents did for me in giving me all this opportunities. They work fucking hard on their horseshit meaningless jobs all to try and give me a better life and shit. Man come on why the fuck do parents even do all that shit. If I were them I would just be like fuck you to that shit and try to make myself as comfortable as possible. I just want fucking people to pity the shit out of me. It feels so fucking good when people feel sorry for me and give me sympathy. I don't know why this feels so good but it does. Self pity also fees good sometimes and I wish it didn't so I could actually do shit with my life. What a fucking trip the shit is. Why the fuck am I shy and insecure and shit. Fucking builshit ass nonsense. Where the fuck did that shit come from. I fucking hate it. Why is it so hard to fucking get rid of that shit. I wish I could just be fucking free and talk to people and shit without a second thought. Why the fuck is that self doubt there. Fuck that shit man. That shit always fucking comes up for not fucking reason. Why the fuck was I given all these fucking tools to succeed and other people don't got it. It all seems like a fucking waste on me.