How often do you envision it?

How often do you watch yourself going through with it in your mind's eye? I've thought of ctb for years now and over the years it's gotten more frequent. A few years ago it became something I think about daily at least once. And back then it was sort of an abstract thought. Lately, though, I think about it multiple times a day and the thoughts are more concrete in nature. Sometimes even in the middle of something important my mind wonders and I start to watch myself in my mind going to where the most convenient place to do it might be with the most useful method available to me in my hand and then I see myself ending it. Sometimes when I'm alone I begin replicating the movements I'm fantasizing about.