"I'll call Jesse Jackson on you."

This call happened 15 minutes before my scheduled lunch break. I was in a pretty decent mood before and after the call, but during, well...

Me: Thank you for holding. My na-

Cust: Why did you turning my fucking satellite off!?!?

(acct auto-populates that it is in a soft-disconnect for non-payment and that the customer has already verified their acct)

M: Erm, I'll be happy to help get this figured out for you. May I ask who I'm speaking with?

C: Ms. Loudmouth Yellyface! Why did you fuckers turn off my tv?!?!

M: I'll be happy to look into that for you. (look over billing ledger) It seems like your service was interrupted because your account is past due in the amount of-

C: Past due?!?! I ain't never been fucking past due! I always pay my bill on time!

(a quick glance at the payment history indicates they have been late on their bill 8 of the last 9 months and had their service interrupted twice before for non-payment)

M: I understand your frustration, but I'm showing we haven't received a payment from you since January 4th.

C: That's impossible! I paid my bill last Thursday. Do you see that on my account?

M: I do not see a payment on that date, ma'am. I do see that you spoke with another one of our agents on that day, however, and that you asked how much was due and when it was due, and they provided you that information. But I see no indication of a payment made that day. As I mentioned, the last payment I see that we got from you was on January 4th.

C: Yeah, I heard you say that, but I don't fucking believe you. I think you're just messing with me because I'm black and live in the ghetto. I want you to turn my service back on right now or I'll call Jesse Jackson on you.

(pull up her address, and she's in the middle of Illinois farm country; ghetto, my ass)

M: I can assure you that's not the case, ma'am. But in order to turn your services back on, we would need a payment of $35.62. Once we get that, your services would be back on about 15 minutes later.

C: Why would I pay that if I already made that payment last Thursday?!?! Can't you see that payment??

M: I don't see one, but it is possible an agent accidentally placed the payment on another account. If you like, I can do some research on payments made with your card to see if that may have happened. If it did, we can correct the mistake and restore your services.

C: Yeah, do that. (under her breath: Stupid ass cracker.)

M: Okay, so in order to do that, I would need the full card number only of that card you used.

C: Yeah, I got it right here. (reads off card number)

M: (plugs card number into payment research tool, finds most recent payment was the previously-mentioned one on Jan 4) So, I ran that card number through our payment history, and the most recent payment I see is the one I mentioned earlier that we got on January 4th.

C: That can't be right! I gave that man that card number and made that payment, and he said I was okay! I think you're just trying to screw me, you racist bitch! I think you got the payment but put it in your bank account instead of putting it toward my payment.

(at this point, I motion to my supervisor that I have a live one and send her an IM that I may need her in a minute)

M: Ma'am, I assure you that's not the case. We have no way of doing that. And I'll please ask you to keep this call professional. I am trying to help you.

C: (insert 10-minute rant, repeating what she already said, along with plenty of abuse toward me, ending with) I think you're just a liar. You're just trying to screw me out of my money because I'm black. The whole lot of you is racist, just taking advantage of poor black people. I work hard for my money and I think y'all are just seeing how far you can push me until I fucking break. Well, I ain't having it! I want you to turn my service back on right now and credit my account for the payment you stole from me.

(at this point, sup is live-monitoring the call and chuckles a little)

M: Ma'am, I cannot do that. That's something only my supervisor can do.

C: Then let me talk to him! He'll turn it back on then fire you for stealing people's money. And what was your name? I'm gonna call the police on your for theft!

M: My name is vbguy77, ma'am, and if you'll allow me to place you on a brief hold, I'll get my supervisor on the line to speak with you.

C: Whatever.

At this point, I place them on hold and speak with my supervisor. She tells me that I should get back to them in a moment , tell them I was transferring them and then mute myself. My supervisor said she'll use her ability to inject herself during live monitoring and speak with the customer.

M: Ma'am, thank you for holding. Give me just a moment and I'll get you over to my supervisor so you can speak with her.

C: Oh, it's a woman? I know she'll take care of me. Yeah, put her on.

(I place myself on mute and my sup chimes in)

S: Thank you for holding, my name is Ms. (sup). I understand you're upset about a missing payment.

C: (tone changes to sweetness and light) Yes, I was trying to explain to the young man that I made a payment last Thursday, but he just refused to help me. I would just like to get my service back on. Can you help me?

S: I will do my best to, ma'am. Did my agent ask for the card number to see if the payment got placed on another account by accident? (she was standing next to me when I did)

C: No, he didn't, but I can give you that card number so you can look it up. You ready?

S: Yes. Go ahead with it.

C: (gives card number)

S: Well, I see that the last payment with our system with that card was on January 4th.

C: (changes back to mean and nasty) Well, that's fucking wrong! I gave that man on Thursday my card number and he said the payment went through! Where'd my money go?

S: I don't know, ma'am. I don't see it on our system. Did you confirm with your bank that the payment went through?

C: No, but I'm pulling up my bank account online right now to make sure.

(lots of typing and clicking, with an occasional muttered expletive)

C: Well, I don't see it on my account. Maybe he didn't take the payment. I gave him my card number, though. Why didn't he take my payment?

S: I'm not sure ma'am. We have that card saved on file already. Did you want to go ahead and make that payment now so we can get your services restarted?

C: Yeah, go ahead.

S: (confirms name on card, processes payment) So, your service should be back on in about 10-15 minutes. Is there anything else I can help you with today?

C: Well, like I said, the young man I spoke to before you was very unprofessional. He refused to help me, and I think he was even a bit racist towards me. I think he needs to be disciplined or even fired.

S: It's funny you mention that, ma'am, because I was listening to the call. I heard what he said and what you said. If anyone was racist and rude, it was you towards him.

C: I, but...

S: He was very professional towards you while you were verbally abusing him, more than he probably should have been. I counted at least five times he would have been justified in ending the call, but he tried his best to help you out.

C: Well, I-

S: (with a full head of steam now) I'm not finished yet. If you ever accuse anyone else here of racism when none was there, we will make sure that your service is cancelled outright and you are no longer a customer of ours, and I'm noting your account accordingly. Besides, how can he be racist towards you if he can't even see you?

C: Umm...

S: That's what I thought. Now, before I end this call, was there anything else I can help you with?

C: Uh, no.

S: Then you have a good day.

My sup then told me to take a break and relax for a few minutes before lunch, which she treated me to. She mentioned during lunch that she was going to use my call as an example in the next supervisor meeting of how to handle rude customers.