An open letter to Alexander the Great to the right of my current civilization, and to Julius Caesar on my left. (Kinda long)

Hello guys, I just wanted to get along.

Alexander, I know that you're prone to pouring units over borders, like some obscene Greek Ghengis Khan. I've been trounced by you before in early game rushes, and I've heard the abuse heaped your way by the r/civ subreddit. But I decided to think the best, albeit cautiously of you, and only made a few units to guard my border.

And then of course, you sent near a dozen or more of units to my capital, in an obscene early game rush, when I was just getting spearmen and my warriors were fighting your swordsmen. Thankfully, you're a stupid AI, and I crushed your invasion with a few cleverly placed Archers, only suffering about 5 pillaged tiles to show for your invasion.

However, I don't let anyone fuck me. This is why I'm currently taking your cities, and warring against you until you offer me another city in the peace settlement. I don't care how unhappy my empire gets, I don't care that I had to take Order in order to prevent rebellion and civil war.

For the rest of this game, I will continue to fuck you. I don't care that Poland is currently in the game, and will probably win because Poland. I don't care that my science victory is continuously slowed down because of my constant invasion of your lands.

I swear, by the end of this game I will destroy your entire civilization. I will see Greece wiped off of the map, your cities taken into mine, and your luxuries enveloped into the Incan empire. Even as my allies are turning against me for my warmongering, I will continue down this dark path of revenge, never stopping until the entire Greek civilization has been taken over.

And finally, I notice what you're doing Caesar. I see that you keep amassing units to the east, possibly to invade my second strongest city. Listen, it's a sound strategy, considering most of my empire is on the other side of the continent. But you forget that all of my cities are connected by rail. By the second turn of the war you want to start, my army will be on the other side of my kingdom, and your entire army will be crushed. I mean, holy shit man, I've got Great War infantry and you're still using crossbowmen and Roman Legionnaires! Have some sense, AI.

So how is everyone on the subreddit doing? Got any good vengeance stories from a Civ game?