I just have to vent/cry a little

I just wish I could wake up motivated, energized, and content. Everyday is an uphill battle just to wake up and crawl out of bed. I have to be strong to keep my family positive, but it's just so hard; I want to give up. Going through a breakup, being isolated from my friends after moving home from college, not being able to study for the major exam I have coming up, living at home with my family who has things to deal with that range from a severly disabled family member to our extended family living in the middle of a civil war. It's too much. I could never actually kill myself and cause more misery for my family, but man oh man do I sometimes wish a bus would come my way. I hate being cynical and I'm beginning to lose faith in people. Everyone is just so selfish. I'm so sick of feeling this way, and I am losing hope in everything. I don't even want to be happy; I haven't been since my childhood. I just don't want to be depressed anymore.