Trying to work up the nerve to make a phone call...

I came out to my family (as a very binary trans woman) last April. My mom has taken time to adapt but she has made her love and support for me clear. My dad... wrote me a horrible email, saying he had failed me as a father and providing me a long list of reasons why I'm not really trans, said the people I surround myself with are scum for "influencing" me into thinking that transitioning was "okay".

I wrote him back but it was a bit of a fool's errand. We didn't speak or see each other for 7 months. I reached out again by email and went home for dinner two weeks later (I'm over 30, and more or less totally independent). We can be in the same room but he barely speaks to me. His discomfort around me is palpable.

I disabled my old FB and made a new one for the people I was out to. It's grown more than I expected and I'm ready to turn the old one back on, put up a big coming out post (which is also HEYYY I'm over a year into transition and full time) and I need to call my dad fist.

Because of his unwillingness to communicate with me, there are some things he doesn't know - like the fact I changed my full name, last name included. I'm sure some of you will say I don't owe him anything, but I still feel obligated to tell him myself rather than let him read it on the internet randomly while he's drinking his coffee.

I don't expect the call to go well and I've been trying to work up the nerve all day. My stomach is in knots. He can do whatever he wants with the information, I just need to communicate it.

Any advice? This needs to happen. Also, we'll all be attending a wedding in April, and I will be going as myself with zero censorship for anyone's comfort, so no more ignoring it.