Eh, whatever.

So my mother, bless her soul, has given me another point of strength to be proud of. She pays the company that my ex works for, and apparently my ex came around to her office amd ran into my mother. My ex left with very few words to me, and no words to my parents, who had financed trips for us, taken us with them, and basically accepted her as the daughter-in-law that we all figured she was going to be. To her credit, my mother did two things: she told her "you didn't say goodbye to us", to which my ex started crying and then my mother hugged her and told her "it is what it is", and I'm assuming that ended the conversation.

So two things I learned from this: my ex apparently looked like shit. I believe my mother's exact words were "looked like a crackhead, pale and shaking". Either from being afraid of meeting up with my mother, or in general. I'm glad. I'm glad she is upset, even if it's her trying to seem like the martyr. If she's truly sad and upset, she's getting the consequences of her actions, and she deserves it; if she's the martyr, I know it's worth sticking with NC.

Second, I don't feel much other than that with the whole situation. Yeah, there's a tiny voice in my head that has been going off, but it's been going off even before I found out. It doesn't get a say. The rest of my head is just ambivalent to the whole thing. This is the choice she made, she has to live with it. I'm too far ahead to deal with her.

A small part of me feels my mother should've been harsher, but I know she got her point across. I'm not sure what the point of all this was; I guess I just wanted to get the point across that even after 100 days, I'm still having weird times that throw me for a loop. You just have to push through. If my story that I posted of how I got to now didn't tip off anybody on here to who I am, this will. So if you're on here, hi! I don't miss you.