feel guilty writing this..

i have been here for years and unlike some of you who kicked this habit, i am still stuck in this pit. i am gross immoral shit and i have accepted that as a fact. nothing could change me but i still wanna give it a half hearted shot... i figured out the reason for my addiction - its lack of connection with anyone on this world.. i am kinda unique dont u think ? but still can someone talk to me once a day. i am brown if that affects your sympathy towards my state.