I am so sorry.

Behold my long and uncharitable, stress-unloading, rant of an apology:

As an RCIA candidate, I've been impressed, almost confused, because I couldn't see how the new liturgy could be viewed as bad thing. I didn't know why some people were frustrated. And I didn't know why anybody would have left what I was witnessing for something like Protestantism (if they felt like they weren't being spiritually fed) or Orthodoxy (if they didn't think Catholicism was traditional enough). I heard of the Masses from decades past, I've "seen" them on YouTube, but it's another thing to feel it and see it and experience it.

I am so sorry. I was ignorant, and I am oddly thankful that I am not as ignorant anymore.

Today I unfortunately experienced what the Catholic Church might have been like in the United States during the '70s (or somewhere around that time). We have a shortage of priests in my area, so a retired priest was brought in to celebrate Mass while our parish priest took care of a few things.

Don't misunderstand me: little of today is this priest's fault, or at least not entirely. And it could've been much, much worse. He was clearly called in at the last minute. The priest never genuflected, except a little head bow. The homily was disorganized and not distinctly Christian; the music, while on an organ, totally did not fit the mood*; we (accidentally) used the old translation; sections were skipped, moved around, or repeated; the priest spoke incredibly fast during everything but the homily so he could get it over with; and, to top it all off, we had the priestly version of dad jokes throughout.

Would I have stayed Catholic if this is what I grew up with? No. Would I have converted to Catholicism if this is all that I had witnessed of it? Who knows. I think I finally understand a little of what all of you cradle Catholics and converts from awhile back had to go through.

Sadly I left my parish today in a state of stress and disorientation instead of the contentment I normally feel. Probably because I'm too uncharitable and didn't pray for a forgiving spirit.

You are heros for staying Catholic. Praise be to You, Lord Jesus Christ!