A plea for help! (marriage advice needed)

This may get a little ranty, as I'm just going to type what comes into my head. r/exmormon, I need help. I'm upset, angry, scared, etc.

My wife and I have a wonderful marriage, except for one thing, porn. As in, I have partaken in it occasionally, and for my wife even once is a terrible sin, and leaves her disgusted in me. She also feels this way about masturbation, something again that I occasionally participate in (2-3 times a week), but even knowing I do it leaves my wife disgusted in me. I have tried to completely abstain from it, but with sex happening infrequently (1-2 a week) I went back to jerking off on occasion. From studying and listening to people's stories here I know that masturbation isn't a big deal, and that practically everyone does it, but to my wife it makes me a degenerate, and according to her I'm her only SO who has ever masturbated.

Fuck me and fuck the LDS church for poisoning her mind like that!!!

So that's the issue, and here's why I'm coming here for help. This is a hot button issue for us, and when it happens my wife basically shuts down for the day. She doesn't want to talk to me about the issue, and when I suggest that maybe we could try marriage counseling she gets upset saying she is too embarrassed to even imagine discussing this with another person. I don't know what to do. Otherwise I feel that we have a wonderful marriage, things are great and while she still insists we attend church every Sunday, she is defiantly NOM/jack Mormon in most other regards so TSCC doesn't really factor into our lives much. Except with masturbation.

So that's what's on my mind today r/exmormon. I feel better now just typing this our and not keeping it bottled up, but I want to resolve this. Please, any advice, good wishes, or even just a "I read your story, you're not alone" is appreciated. Thanks.

Edit: Thanks for the responses so far. I just want to be clear that I'm not looking for validation for viewing porn, and actually from what some of you have said I do think that it's a very reasonable request to give it up, especially if it causes her so must angst. I guess really now that emotions have died downed is that I am feeling sexually unfulfilled in my marriage, and I've turned to masturbation to help fulfill my sexual urges. I've tried talking to me wife about it, but she hasn't really been receptive to increase the frequency of sex in our lives. Sorry, if this seems like stuff that I should talk to a counselor with, but like I said, my wife doesn't feel like discussing problems with others.