I miss being silly and goofing off and hysterically laughing until my stomach hurts. I miss friendship without a competitive edge.

I'm in college. I love some of my friends here, but there's always that sort of competitive aspect to our friendships -- the implicit undercurrent of who gets better grades, who has a "harder" major, who will get a better internship, who has faced more hardships in life, who is more financially advantaged... like fuck. It takes away from being able to be silly and goof off like we did as kids, and even like we did in high school. Everyone acts so mature and serious and stressed out.

I miss laughing until my stomach hurt about stupid ass shit. I miss chilling in our rooms and acting like complete idiots just so we can get laughs out of one another. I miss goofing off.

The only person I feel like I can act like that still is my bf. Otherwise, I feel like people are just like "wtf..." and the only acceptable jokes are "mature" jokes regarding serious issues.. idk.