Why am I like this?

I just want to be normal. I don't want to be sad anymore. I don't want to be afraid anymore. I want to be thin and smart and funny and nice. I don't want to be me. I don't want to be. Why does nobody understand me? Or seem to care? I just don't want anything anymore. I sometimes wish the world would end so that it will all be over. Why am I like this? Why do I hate myself?

I just want to know WHY