i'm not sure if i can do this anymore

over the past few months iv'e been thinking about my situation and have consulted multiple people both over the internet and in real life and they all say the same thing, "i don't know". over the past few months my hate and contempt for the goverment has grew the more i learn about taxes and school laws, not only that but school has been getting worse(im going to fail the 9th grade no matter what i do). i had a suicide attempt in june of last year and its a 'miracle' im still alive, ive scanned my situation and the best way out just seems to be running away but even then im fucked and so are my parents. my parents are good people and theyve tried their best getting me help but the only thing that i havent tried is running away and that will leave my parents in a state of possible deppression, worry and anxiety. and i dont want that. im not willing to try medication (ive seen to many people my age get fucked up in the head forever because of them). im no longer willing to commit suicide and if i continue schooling ill end up dead by my own hand anyway. im 14 by the way so i cant end my schooling anytime soon.

what should i do?