I'm no person

I'm nobody. I thought I was worth something. I drive limousine and the people I drive are apparently millionaires. As I drive them to their houses I'm amazed to see mansions and the palaces they live in. All I'm thinking is where do they get all these monies from? You've got to have millions and millions of dollars in your bank to pay for all these lands and huge houses. While I'm going to drive from airports to airports just to make few bucks. They don't even tip. I'm feeling completely failure and a loser. I was always in arts and theater and I thought I'll be a star one day and I'll make a name for myself and enough money to survive. I have neither. No name. No recognition and broke. Driving the limousine is just enough keeping me alive. And I have lost my ambition and drive. For what? Art is not going to give me anything. All I'm thinking is that I'll not wake up tomorrow. I'll be just dead and it will be over. There is no fun in living. There is no fun driving people from to la guardia to Kennedy airport and do the same thing over and over again. It's just a sad life. Nothing else. I look at people and I'm surprised why they are smiling and happy. I don't see any reason to be happy. It's just a mundane, boring and worthless drag a life. I go home and my house needs so many repairs. Between the shower, front screen door doesn't lock properly, the basement has water and I really don't have the money for repair. Soon the house will be on sale and we will move to a smaller place. Which is ok. I hate when people say. You're are lucky. There are millions of people around the world who are starving. That's true. But that is no helping me to see myself as worthwhile. I see myself as low and worthless creature and no matter how much I try to mak myself feel better, doesn't work. Sometimes, I think the problem starts when I question myself and question my self worth. May be I shouldn't. I should just live my life and do not judge. But that is difficult when iOS are going tough time and comparing yourself with other people who are successful.