I [20F] met a guy [20M] that I like, but my best friend/roommate [20F] just told me he gives her a bad vibe.
I met this guy, Jack, last week at an event for a mutual interest. We hit it off; we were flirting all night and we exchanged numbers. Last night he invited me out to a bar, we went out with some of his friends and a few people we met at a mutual interest meetup. My best friend/roommate Anna had mentioned going too, largely because I didn't really know anyone except Jack and I didn't know him too well either, but she had something she had to finish up before the end of the evening. She was texting/snapchatting me periodically throughout the night.
It was a fun night; he bought me some drinks and we talked and flirted playfully all night. When I met him at first I was hesitant because he was talking up his Tinder game and his crazy lifestyle, but after hanging out with him and talking with his friends it was pretty clear that his exploits were exaggerated a bit. He did make a few misogynistic comments about a girl's weight as well which sort of rubbed me the wrong way, but as it wasn't directed toward me or anyone I knew I didn't think much of it. Overall I had a lot of fun, and I found out he and I have more in common than I thought - we have a very similar taste in music and actually belong to the same fairly obscure religion.
Like I mentioned, Anna was texting/snapping me occasionally throughout the night. At one point Jack playfully derided me for paying attention to my phone and not him, and when I went to put my phone away he grabbed it and sent Anna a funny face over Snapchat. She replied making fun of one of his facial features, they went back and forth once or twice. My pants pockets are so small that my phone kept almost falling out, so he put my phone in his pocket. When she responded, he'd give it back so I could put in my passcode and then we'd both look and he'd send something ridiculous back. This was around 10pm.
Around 12 Anna was done with her thing and texted me that she wanted to come down. Jack still had my phone (which didn't really matter to me like I said; I kept almost losing it and he knew the address and I didn't anyways). He made a joke so she knew he still had my phone, then gave her the address. He gave me my phone back in case she called.
She got there around 1am. We were all pretty drunk at this point; Jack and a friend of his were playing pool and I and one of his friends were watching them and chatting. Anna called me, sort of perturbed; I guess she had walked in and hadn't seen me so then she walked down the street. I went to find her and brought her in.
Anna didn't drink much and drove me back to our place; we left around 2:15am. (To be honest it seems like she wasn't there for that long but that last hour is a bit fuzzy). Anna's got a strong personality - she walked in, introduced herself to the guys I was with, and ordered a drink she wanted me to try. Like I said, this whole last hour is sort of fuzzy; I don't recall exactly the circumstances of Jack and Anna meeting. I know she spent more time talking to one of Jack's good friends, who, shortly after we got there, pulled the two of us off to a back room to show us something. I didn't really talk to Jack quite as much in that last hour because Anna and I are really close and she seemed a little annoyed, and I was thankful she had come down to join me and was willing to drive me back so I just sort of stayed next to her at the bar. We left, like I said, around 2:15am. Around 3 Jack and I snapchatted a bit and he said he wanted to hang out again sometime, and I agreed.
Today, Anna told me she didn't like Jack. I asked her why, and she said something about how he had introduced himself to her and that he seemed aloof. He's not like that at all, so I pushed her on it, and she said he just gives her a bad vibe. She clearly didn't want to talk about it, so I dropped it.
Anna is my best friend, and I trust her more than anyone else in the world. She's always my go-to for relationship advice too; I'm fairly inexperienced myself. On the one hand, I know she's looking out for me and mentioned her misgivings because she cares (and she's been pretty spot-on in the past when she told me certain guys were probably bad news). On the other hand, I don't want to follow her opinion blindly, especially when her explanation doesn't seem accurate, and also the fact that it was 1am and he was hammered when she met him.
What should I do in regard to Anna's misgivings over Jack? She's my best friend, but I don't think her appraisal is totally accurate and I really like this guy. Would it be worth pushing her on it further, or even just forgetting about him and taking her advice, or should I just ignore her and see him again? And if I do this, how can I make sure I'm still respecting our friendship and her opinion?
tl;dr: I had a great time with a guy I recently met, my best friend joined us at the end of the night and told me she got a bad vibe from him. I still want to see him again, how do I handle respecting our friendship and her opinion?
Posted Feb 22, 2016, 4:08 AM UTC