I'm not sure, but I think I'm being abused.

I live with my mom, step-dad and my roommate. They're supporting me while I'm waiting to be approved for my disability benefits (it's year two). I know they're frustrated having to work and support me at age 30, which I understand, but I think their behavior is turning into emotional and verbal abuse. My step-dad flat out won't even acknowledge me anymore, to the point of ignoring me when I say "hi" to him in the morning, and he refuses to take me to my appointments. Even if he has the day off, my roommate has to request time off from work to take me. My mom has developed a problem with her knee and needs a replacement and is in pain, and while I fully understand the toll chronic pain takes on your mood, she takes it out on me. She yells at me over the smallest things, like me drinking too much soda (to be fair I drink a ridiculous amount, but I use my own food benefits to buy it) or the litter box being dirty. I physically can't clean it myself anymore, and my roommate chose to take over that responsibility rather than having to give away my cats because he understands how devastating it would be to me to get rid of them. In the last 3 years I've lost everything (my job, my apartment, my car, my friends, my independence). All I have left are my cats. I found them abandoned when they were 3 weeks old and got up every 3 hours at night to bottle feed them, clean them with a wash cloth, taught them to use a litter box, everything a mama cat does. Even if I manage to find a man who wants to be with me, I'm most likely never going to be able to get pregnant and have children. My cats are the only children I will ever have. I've explained that to my mother, but when she's angry she threatens to get rid of them. She has a tendency to ramble for a long time before getting to her point, and sometimes I simply can't stand there and listen because I'm in pain, so I'll ask her to please get to the point because I need to lay down (consciously trying to say it as politely as I can) and then she'll yell at me that I'm an ungrateful brat who doesn't appreciate any of the help I'm given. Her preferred way to say this is, "Nobody is ever going to hold you up the way I do and one day I'm going to stop and when you fall no one will care enough to be there to catch you." She guilt trips me for not being able to do more to help out around the house, but when I try and fall because I'm lifting or carrying or cleaning or whatnot, she tells me, "If you hurt yourself worse we'll have to do even more for you." I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Last Friday I texted her five minutes after she left work to remind her to get my prescriptions but since she was already five minutes away from the clinic her response was, "You should have reminded me sooner," and I had to go an entire weekend without my antidepressants and pain meds, and she just kept telling me to "adjust my attitude" and that I'm so ungrateful. She's a goddamn nurse. She knows that 3 days without those meds kicks off withdrawal, and it has nothing to do with having a bad attitude. This weekend she was out of town to go to my niece's concert (which I was not invited to) and even though physically it was rough because of the weather making my joints hurt, I felt pretty good overall, and even hung out in the living room with my roommate for a while, which I never do anymore. I just stay in my room and only leave to use the bathroom or eat, because there's a 1 in 3 chance my mom's going to get mad at me for something. She was home for about five minutes and started screaming at me about the cat litter, something I'm physically incapable of doing anything about. When I reminded her of this she said, "I know you can't do anything about it but they're your cats so you should be able to," and when I reminded her my roommate agreed to be responsible for it she said, "I know, then you better talk to him," and kept yelling. I never raise my voice or yell back, I just tell her she doesn't need to be screaming and to please talk to me like a person. It doesn't do any good. So after two days of feeling quite well emotionally, I've spent the last eight hours crying and wishing I had insurance so I could go live in a care home. After a long talk about it with my friend back home, she made me realize that I'm actually being emotionally abused. She spent years in an abusive relationship with a total asshole and she has Bipolar, so she knows the territory pretty well and summed it up quite well when she said, " If you can accept the reality of being physically disabled for the rest of your life and make jokes about it, but after spending five minutes with your mom you want to kill yourself over dirty cat litter, that's a big fucking red flag right there." And the fact I'm feeling reluctant to post this because I don't want anyone to think poorly of my mother is another.

I just don't know what to do about it. Until I get my disability benefits I'm stuck. I can't support myself, I can't get insurance in the state I live in (SC sucks in that regard) so I can't get a PCA to come in a few days a week to help clean or take me to appointments. If we could afford it I would tell them to just put me in a home, because I've worked in enough myself to know I'd be treated better there. My friend's suggestion is drastic but looking somewhat inviting; go up to Minnesota next month to "visit" her, skip my meds for a few days or a week, have a breakdown, get hospitalized on a 72 hour psych hold, and tell the social worker I'm being emotionally abused by my family. They'll consider me a vulnerable adult, put me in a home, and I'll get MinnesotaCare so I can actually have insurance and get better treatment than I'm currently getting now. Definitely drastic, but it might be another 2 or 3 years before I get approved for disability. I'm pretty sure I can't handle this for that long. I dealt with severe depression as a teenager and wanted to kill myself, but after one of my friends died and I saw the way his mother broke at his funeral (it physically broke her; she crumpled to the floor in front of the casket, clutching her chest and wailing, Christ, it was awful) I made the decision that I would never kill myself as long as my mother was alive. But that was before being in chronic pain and knowing my neurological condition is most likely going to cause my entire left side to go Stephen Hawking within the next ten years. And if my mom's behavior just continues to get worse towards me, I can see where my decision to refrain from suicide because of what it will do to her could lose its meaning. And considering I have access to a lot of medication, method won't be an issue either. And I certainly don't want that, nor is it something that will happen any time soon, but if this situation continues like this for months or years, there's a very real chance I will break down. I don't know what to do.