I'm too deep into my relationship to back out, but he's my best friend.

I was friends with this guy for 2 years in highschool, best friends we hung out every day we'd go for long walks and we would talk about our relationships with other people. Then one day things changed, we slowly started becoming closer and closer a little kiss here a little kiss there and suddenly we found ourselves dating. At the time I liked the idea of being in love with my high school sweet heart. It was also nice to date your best friend.

Fast forward 3 years, we got engaged and I thought I was the happiest and luckiest person ever. But this was a month before we were starting university. Our original plan was to go to the same school so we could get a car together and drive everyday. But a complication with the acceptances happened and he ended up having to go away to another school in a city a little while away from me. So now I was stuck in a different school all by myself. I'm terrible at making friends so it was really hard for me to adjust and I didn't really like university all that much. He made it better for me, but we mostly only talked through skype.

Changing from a relationship where he lives next door to a long distance relationship was so difficult, he was good at making friends so he was always either busy with that or with his school work. Which I understand it's a new experience for him too. University was weird for me, people quickly found out I was engaged and boys started avoiding me for that. Girls always treated me differently. They all go out in skimpy outfits and have hook ups and I’m just jealous of it all. Because there’s me being nice and talking with guys that come up to me at bars and then having to turn them down because I'm engaged. I mean I'm 20 years old I feel like I deserve to be able to party and have hook ups and enjoy getting drunk and things that you do in university. But here I'm stuck just making sure that I don’t do anything to upset my fiancé.

I mean it's good when we're together, don't get me wrong. When we're together it feels nice, but lately I just don't know what to do. I like being friends with him, but I just feel like our relationship went a little too fast. And our lives are so intertwined, I work at a factory with his mom and dad and a couple uncles, we have a pets together, we have many collections together, so even if I tried to break it off I don't think I would be able to live with myself. But I just want to be able to go out and have fun from time to time. I want to use tinder and have some crazy one night stands or something? I just want to live like a normal 20 year old.

I actually tried to break up with him recently, but it just didn’t work. He didn’t take me seriously at first, and then kept saying he can change and be better for me but I’m just not sure if I want that?

My supervisor (24) at work has been showing interest in me. I know he doesn't know I'm engaged (because I can't wear my ring at work and he doesn't know any of my fiancé’s family) and it's just making me feel so special. I love feeling like something wants me or lusts for me. With my fiancé it just seems like the same old same old there's not much excitement. I flirt back with my supervisor occasionally, and in my head I want him to ask me out for a beer or for a coffee or something and I know that I would say yes but I know that I would find it really hard to tell him that I’m in a relationship, much less engaged.

I just feel like I’m stuck and I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t know what to think.

[TLDR: Got engaged too young don’t know if I regret it just want to be a normal 20 year old.]